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Re: Shout Out Against H0m0phobia

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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 05:32 PM
Knowing and accepting yourself as g@y, l3sbian, bis3xual, transgender, two-spirit, or just plain qu33r can be a freeing experience. It is also something that you should feel proud about!

Acknowledging and accepting your s3xual orientation and gender identity can be a unique and amazing journey. It may also present challenges at times. This awesome journey will happen over a lifetime and will be different for every person.

It will almost always include the process of coming out to ourselves and others; discovering the uniqueness of the qu33r community; and working through some difficult personal and social attitudes. It may influence some of your current friendships, and lead to new friendships and relationships that will last a lifetime.

The purpose of this thread is to share information about some of the challenges, provide resources to help you cope, and let you know loud and clear: you are not alone!

The bumpy parts can be tough. Family, friends, culture, and religion may be really important parts of our lives, and they can influence how we feel about ourselves. Whether we know it or not, there may be times when family and peer pressures, along with negative social messages, will play a significant role in the journey. These experiences will almost certainly cause some unpleasant moments along the way, and may even influence our personal decisions;

Negative messages are often the result of fears or phobias which, in the case of s3xual orientation and gender identity, include things like h0m0phobia, biphobia, transphobia, and heteros3xism. They can affect our well-being in several ways. What's important to understand is that these "phobias" can influence the decisions we make, which not only affect ourselves, but others as well.

Good things happen too! Not all of our experiences will be negative. In fact, many of the messages we hear may be very positive, and many of the people in our lives may be very supportive. Learning about how h0m0phobia, biphobia, transphobia, and heteros3xism affect our health and wellness can lead to informed and healthy decisions. Being informed can positively impact our mental, physical, s3xual, emotional, and spiritual selves.

To be continued.
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civilizationfreak is not online. civilizationfreak
Joined: 11 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 7688
17 Mar 2014 05:35 PM
Thanks for sharing this, however.................. inb4cd'ed
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 05:36 PM
THE QU33R UMBRELLA
Throughout this thread, the word "qu33r" will be used as an umbrella term to reflect our lives as g@y, l3sbian, bis3xual, transgender, and two-spirit people (LGBT2).

Language is powerful: words such as dyk3, l3sbo, f@g, sissy, and qu33r can and have been used in hurtful ways. Today, there are many qu33r folks who now use these words in a positive way, and have redefined them to celebrate our identities and differences. Even though many of us have reclaimed some of these words, it's important to understand that it's not okay for anybody to use this type of language in a mean or hateful manner. Hate is still hate, regardless of who's using it; being the target of hateful or hurtful language will cause us all to feel badly about who we are as qu33r people.

I want to encourage people to feel good about who they are. So it is important to understand that negative influences may affect our ability to see and choose positive influences.

Understanding some of the reasons why we undervalue ourselves goes a long way toward helping us embrace ourselves and each other.
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mageofpower is not online. mageofpower
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 01 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 43654
17 Mar 2014 05:39 PM
Is he trying to convert people into becoming LGBT?
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 05:44 PM
FEARS & PHOBIAS

H0m0phobia:
H0m0phobia is the irrational fear, dislike, hatred, intolerance, or ignorance of g@y, l3sbian, and qu33r people (and/or those perceived to be g@y, l3sbian, or qu33r).

Forms of h0m0phobia can be expressed within the language we use, such as statements like "that's so g@y." It can also be found in the attitudes some people share, such as a belief that being qu33r is wrong, immoral, or unethical.

We might hear these social messages at home, on TV, in school, or in our communities. So it's not uncommon for those of us questioning our s3xual orientation or gender to take in these negative attitudes and beliefs and start to believe them ourselves. This is called internalized h0m0phobia. It can deeply affect our self-esteem, self-worth, the choices we make, and ultimately our goals of living a happy, healthy, and productive life.

The discrimination we sometimes experience (at school, work, places of worship, housing complexes, hospitals, and even from law enforcement officials) can also affect our attitudes about ourselves and our right to be who we truly are. These forms of discrimination (both obvious and hidden) are known as institutionalized or systemic h0m0phobia.

Another form of h0m0phobia is called personal h0m0phobia (our personal actions towards qu33r people). Name-calling, using hateful language, and physical assault are all forms of personal h0m0phobia. This can create a huge amount of stress and even social pressure to be h0m0phobic ourselves, affecting our health and well-being.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 05:49 PM
Biphobia:
Biphobia is the irrational fear, dislike, hatred, intolerance, and/or ignorance of bi53xual peole (and/or those perceived to be bi53xual).

Bi53xual people are often seen as invisible within the qu33r and hetero53xual or "straight" communities because bi53xuals are attracted to the individual regardless of that person's gender identity. Biphobia happens not only in the straight community but in the qu33r community as well. Bi53xual people often encounter negative attitudes such as being called "fence sitters," and are sometimes accused of being confused about their 53xual orientation. In reality, the majority of us, at one or more points in our lives, have either thought about or explored our attractions and feelings for the same and/or opposite 53x/genders. These feelings are normal, common, and natural.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 05:56 PM
Tr4nsphobia:
Tr4nsphobia is the irrational fear, dislike, hatred, intolerance, and/or ignorance of those who identify as tr4nsgender (and/or those perceived to be tr4nsgender).

Qu33r or not, anyone can be tr4nsphobic. Similar to h0m0phobia, tr4nsphobia can present itself culturally (how society treats us), institutionally (policies or rules that discriminate against others), internally (how we feel about ourselves), and personally (our actions towards others).

Hetero53xism:
Like any other social prejudice, such as r4cism or 53x1sm, hetero53xism is the prejudiced belief that hetero53xuals, or "straight" people, are socially and culturally superior to qu33r people.

A common example of hetero53xism is the assumption that everyone is straight. This often happens without even thinking about it. It might present in a simple way, such as asking a girl/woman if she has a "60yfriend" or "hu5band" rather than a p4rtner or 51gnificant 0ther. The hetero53xist assumption is that because she's female, she would naturally be d4ting a male.

If we believe that qu33r people are not equal or deserving of being equal, then we are engaging in hetero53xism. Throughout history, and today, qu33r people exist in all cultures eand same-53x 53xual behaviour exists in many forms of life.
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Niiqiarqusu is not online. Niiqiarqusu
Joined: 25 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1806
17 Mar 2014 05:57 PM
shutup sinii
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iamstuff is not online. iamstuff
Joined: 26 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 413
17 Mar 2014 05:57 PM
Is heterophobia also a problem, in your opinion? Does it exist?
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 05:59 PM
Acceptance of being g@y, l3sbian, bi53xual, transgender, or two-spirit is a freeing, wonderful, and positive experience. It can be a source of pride, celebration, and dignity; some even call our 53xual orientation and gender identity a gift. H0m0phobia, biphobia, transphobia, and hetero53xism cause us a lot of stress (even in ways we are not aware of) and affect our personal choices. Being aware of this can help us cope in ways that are healthier and less damaging to our physical, emotional, 53xual, psychological, and spiritual well-being.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:01 PM
@iamstuff

Heterophobia is not a problem as it is not significant and damaging enough in society to be visible. It is possible that it exists, and in that case, it is still hate and/or ignorance and should not be allowed.

To be continued.
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flatline115 is not online. flatline115
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 7826
17 Mar 2014 06:05 PM
I personally don't care. You know what? If you want to be that then go ahead, it is not my business to stop you HOWEVER do not bring it around me as I won't tolerate it. What I mean is don't be that way around me, announce you're that and etc. I don't sit there saying what I am to everybody so I don't see why your group has to.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:07 PM
NICOLE'S (15) STORY

"I started high school thinking it would be different compared to middle school. But within the first few weeks, I was judged and scrutinized and I couldn't wait 'till June. Apparently my school labelled me as qu33r even though I never came out, which I didn't mind until they attacked me verbally. First it was g@y, then h0m0. The worst for me was f4ggot. My peers would blame me for mistakes and humiliate me when I walked by.

I tolerated it until the day my locked was vandalized. In permanent marker were the words "YOU'RE A EMO F4G" written across my locker door. How lovely to walk into my school and see this; especially since people lined the halls snickering. I could handle the name-calling and hate towards me, but actually taking the time to trash something of mine crossed the line.

I finally went to a counsellor with a friend. We talked a lot and it felt great to get problems off my chest. (My locked was also cleaned a few days later by a janitor.) Even though I moved to a different school in grade 10 for vocational purposes, I won't forget that sick feeling of h0m0phobia and will not stand for it again.

I wouldn't change even if I could because there isn't anything wrong with me."
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:11 PM
YOUR 53XUAL SELF
It's your own decision.

53xual orientation and identity:
53xual orientation is about who we are attracted to physically, emotionally, and 53xually. There is a range of attraction we can have for one another. Sometimes our attractions do not necessarily reflect how we identify ourselves. For example: a man might call himself g@y but is occasionally attracted to a woman; a woman might call herself a l3sbian but is occasionally attracted to a man. It does not mean that we have to, or will, act on those attractions. But if we do decide to act on our attractions, it does not change who we are, or how we identify ourselves.

It is a personal decision as to how we identify ourselves (g@y, l3sbian, bi53xual, transgender, two-spirit, or straight) and who we decide to be intimate or have 53x with.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:20 PM
53xual behaviour:
Sometimes our 53xual identity is different than our 53xual behaviour. For example, because of h0m0phobia, biphobia, transphobia, and hetero53xism, a person may choose not to "come out" even though the are 53xually active with someone of the same 53x/gender (discreetly or openly). It's important to respect others' decisions not to come out because we many not be fully aware of their personal circumstances.

53xual health and safety:
When deciding to have 53x, knowing how to protect yourself and others from HIV and other 53xually trasmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pr3gnancies is important.

It's important to think about what you want to do (or might want to do in the future) and get an idea of what the risks are before you make a decision in the heat of the moment.

You can have 53x with little or no risk of passing on or getting HIV. This is called safe 53x. Safe 53x also helps protecting you and your partner(s) from other STIs, such as gon0rrhea and 5yphilis.

People can have HIV or other STIs without knowing it because these infections often do not cause symptoms. You could have HIV or another STI and not know it. Also, don't assume that your partner(s) knows whether they have HIV or any other STI. The only way to know for sure is to be tested.

Use a latex or polyurethane c0nd0m correctly every time you have v4g1n4l or 4n4l 53x.

Other safety issues can also occur as a result of engaging in 53x with others, such as emotional and physical harm. Try to make sure that you have access to a social and/or support network, like a buddy or counsellor, in case something unexpected happens and you need help of information.
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Niiqiarqusu is not online. Niiqiarqusu
Joined: 25 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1806
17 Mar 2014 06:23 PM
"it is still hate and/or ignorance and should not be allowed."
Hear that everyone? LGBT hate freedom
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:26 PM
All about gender: roles, identity, and expression:
We live in a society that generally acknowledges only two distinct genders, male and female. This is known as the gender binary, and this binary leaves little room for people to openly express their gender in a way that feels right for them. Gender is also a socially constructed concept or idea of what is male or masculine, and what is female or feminine (e.g. blue for boys and pink for girls).

Gender roles refer to the roles that society assigns as appropriate for women or men. For example, the expectation that women raise children and men make money.

Our gender identity is how we personally choose to identify ourselves - male, female, or transgender.

Some of us have an appearance, or gender expression, that is perhaps different than society's expectation (e.g. a woman who appears to be more masculine or a man who appears to be more feminine). We have been bullied, excluded, alienated, and at worst, abused or treated violently because of it. It's important for everyone, qu33r or straight, to celebrate all gender differences.

We're a multifaceted community that expands beyond society's gender expectations. Our self-determined gender is what we personally make it: emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. Our individuality should be based on who we are as people, not on what society expects us to be or what is between our legs. Our gender identity and gender expression are our decisions alone.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:36 PM
THE TRANSGENDER JOURNEY
Being transgender can be doubly difficult because under the qu33r umbrella, transgender people are seen as a minority group within another minority group. Throughout the life-journey of transitioning (the extent of which is defined by the transgender individual), it is important to reach out to social supports. Counsellors and other community care providers can help assist in the transition process.

Beware the quick fix:
Understandably, some transgender individuals want to transition quickly in order to live as their "true" self. The sense of urgency to transition may cause some people to make the wrong decisions, but for the right reasons. For example, the journey of transitioning can be a long, costly, and difficult process. It may cause people to look for shortcuts like ordering hormones off the internet rather than from a legitimate pharmacy, and choosing to administer the hormones themselves.

Quick fix:
Hormone purchases off the internet as a "quick fix" may be unsafe. There can also be serious and long-term negative health effects when using hormones not prescribed by a specialist.

The process of administering hormones, whether it be in the form of pills, patches, gels, or injectable hormones, should always be in consultation which a qualified health care practitioner so the transition itself is a safe and healthy process.

If choosing to inject with hormones, HIV and hepatitis C can be passed on through shared needles. Sharing needles is very risky so use a clean needle and syringe every time you inject.

Never share equipment, not even with your 53x partner.

Social supports are also available for friends and family who may want to gain more knowledge and understanding. Whether the transition includes a name change, hormone therapy, or any kind of body change, only that transgender person should determine what that transition looks like and what feels most comfortable.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:40 PM
JENNIFER'S (17) STORY

"When I was fifteen, I admitted to myself I was a transwoman. Seeking support, I came out to people I considered the closest of friends. One friend cut off all contact, saying that his parents wouldn't like it if they found out about me. Another wanted me to talk with a pastor, to try and see that what I wanted was sick and immoral.

I felt betrayed, nearly worthless, and believed it was my fault. I felt if I could convince myself not to be who I was, I would get my friends back, and everything would be okay again.

Any negative experience, even a single small one, overrode the countless positive ones. The phobia that shaped others' way of thinking began to affect mine. I worried that someone would take it a step further than simply not wanting me in their life anymore.

Much later, I realized that I couldn't let others' fears and bigotry make me afraid of being myself. I still bear emotional scars formed by years of fear: they will never go away. I can only live and hope for a time when others won't have to suffer the same hurt."
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:47 PM
COMING OUT
To yourself, in your personal life, and to everyone else.

The term "coming out" means the lifelong process and journey of accepting ourselves as qu33r, and revealing our 53xual orientation and/or gender identity to others. It is likely to happen over a lifetime because of hetero53xist assumptions made by some people (i.e. everyone is straight).

Coming out is something that many of us are constantly thinking about, especially when it comes to dealing with our friends, our family, teachers, religious leaders, or others who are important to us. It is our personal choice to either come out, or not, and there is no right or wrong way to do so. It's also a personal choice as to when we come out, who we come out to, or even who we choose not to come out to.

Liberating, but scary too:
Coming out to yourself can be liberating. Many of us feel a weight lift off our shoulders every time we come out to others. After we come out, we typically search for those who are also qu33r and will listen to us, hang out with us, or can help answer our questions.

There are also big challenges and important things to consider. Some of us don't have, or can't find, others to connect with because we live in a smaller community, don't have access to transportation, or don't have internet access. We may experience pressure from our cultural and religious institutions. There may be fear that someone will tell others about our 53xual orientation and/or gender identity (also called being "outed") when we are not ready. There can be additional stressors while coming out such as racism, poverty, homelessness, and addiction.

The decision to come out to another person is entirely up to you. You should consider whether you might have your personal safety threatened, or lose access to your home before you disclose to others.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:51 PM
Dealing with issues:
The challenges and issues we face being qu33r can lead to increased feelings of depression and isolation, and unhealthy ways to cope with the stress. It can possibly lead to excessive drinking, dr|_|g use, or smoking. We may even have thoughts about su1cide or hurting ourselves, such as self-harm through cutting. What's important to know is that even in the most stressful and painful times, things can and do change for the better. We may not see it at the time, but those who have experienced those feelings have looked back and recognized that those periods of stress were temporary.

There are qu33r and qu33r-friendly community organizations with supportive people who can provide options and help answer questions about your personal challenges. These include toll-free numbers if you live in a rural community.
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DesiredShark is not online. DesiredShark
Joined: 28 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 5123
17 Mar 2014 06:52 PM
Tl;DR.
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:56 PM
JEFFREY'S (21) STORY

"I'm only 21, but I already feel like I've grown and experienced so much. The process of coming out was an evolution that continued long after the words "I'm g@y" left my lips. Coming out was the easy part; it's everything that happened after that was complicated.

All I wanted to do was connect with other people like me, make new friends, and form new relationships. I found myself willing to conform and sacrifice who I was to fit in. It was a time of reckless immaturity and broken hearts. Every relationship was a serious one, and every breakup was devastating.

Now I know I'm not alone in how I felt because I see it happening all the time. It's so easy to fall in with the wrong crowd and get trapped in the world of 53x, dr|_|gs, and disco. It's much harder to realize that it's happened. My biggest regret was that I let the relationships with my real friends suffer, to focus only on my g@y friendships because I thought it would make me happier."
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Himicane is not online. Himicane
Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 17
17 Mar 2014 06:57 PM
Will be continued tomorrow.
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DesiredShark is not online. DesiredShark
Joined: 28 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 5123
17 Mar 2014 06:57 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qLz1L9YqIs
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