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Re: [The Steel Gladium] - [The Gladium's Savior]

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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 04:33 PM
Introduction:
The year is 2020, war has broken loose between the ancients, and the Gladium. The Sovereign is in his office as usual. Everything is fine, and it’s a very comfortable climate outside. The Sovereign walks over to the window, in hopes of seeing his fellow Artillians enjoying the day within the walls of the Marine Island Outpost. Instead, he sees a mass of ancients coming toward the unknowing Artillians that are off-duty in the pentagon.

The Sovereign rushes to the raid alarm that is in the room next to his office. Once he reaches it, he swiftly pulls down the lever that triggers the alarm. The alarm blares through all of Artillia's land. It was heard by all of the Artillians, who rushed to prepare for the oncoming battle.

The Sovereign quickly goes down to address the Artillians, and the quartermaster, Michael Brenan. Once the Artillians spot their Sovereign, they line up and then freeze. The Sovereign moves with pride towards the podium. It seems to come out as a roar when he speaks. "Artillians, the time is now. Carry the gladius as your willpower, Artillians, light the flame to strive further, through the wherewithal of force, we shall prevail!", the Sovereign speaks with dignity, and confidence, showing his soldiers that they can trust him. Finally, he ends his speech with a simple, "Glory to Artillia!". A burst of noise coming from the thousands of Artillians standing before the Sovereign! Artillians are shouting "Glory to Artillia".

Just then, the Artillian forces hear a roar of men coming from the river just beside the pentagon. It's time. The ancients have arrived.

-------------------------------------------
Part one: The Defense Against the Ancients

The Artillians had no choice but to face them head on. There was no way out of this. The soldiers of Artillia quickly rushed to weapon rack in order to be able to meet the oncoming storm with full force. One Artillian stood out in the crowd. Agapeto Atrinak was his name. He stood still and silent in the midst of his comrades, who were running back and forth from the weapon rack to supply the Artillian Marauders. The Marauders would be on the front lines, since they are the most skillful. "What would it be like to be one of them?", he thought. Shaking his head of the thoughts that distracted him, he suited up. Grabbing a Corsair from the weapon rack, swinging the barrel of the gun away from his torso, and letting the bayonet slide out from it's hidden compartment. After he's gathered everything he needs, including fifty rounds of thirty for the Corsair he grabbed, he goes to meet his fellow Artillians inside the Pentagon. The Pentagon is one of the most defendable places in the Marine Island Outpost, with the walls consisting of stainless steel that no army has ever damaged. Agapeto lay in wait for what's in store for him on the battlefield. All is silent.

Suddenly, a burst of fire came raining down upon the Pentagon. The Artillian Sovereign shouts towards the Artillians to get into defensive positions. Agapeto rushes towards a corner with a wedge in the ground that is great for defense. He mounts his Corsair, ready for anything that comes his way.

Just then, Agapeto spots three drop ships hovering over the Pentagon. At first, he was led to believe they were Artillian drop ships. Once he saw the insignia on the side of the aircrafts, his assumption was shot down. He tried to move out of his position to warn the others, but it was too late. They dropped.

Agapeto reached for his sword, which was safely located in a holster on his belt. He ran his fingers over the length of the blade, pondering who it will slay first. He hears the crack of glass in the room closest to him. Agapeto quickly draws his sword, ready for the oncoming soldiers of destruction.

When suddenly, he sees a face in the corner of the room he is in. It's not a face of the Ancients, because he would've been dead already. Agapeto whispered, but with a tone that would catch the attention of a sleeping giant, "Who and what are you? What are your intentions?" The man staggers out of the darkness, revealing his blood-soaked body. Agapeto knew where he was from almost instantly. "You're a Vaktovian? Why are you here? Matter of fact, how are you here?!" he cried. The Vaktovian slipped back into the corner as soon as Agapeto was done speaking.

Agapeto got back to his post that was nearby and honed the aim of his Corsair towards the corner in which he spotted the Vaktovian. He was about to pull the trigger when a bullet struck his right arm. He quickly looked to see where it came from. Glancing around the room, he could see nothing. Then, he remembered his tactical training. He looked up at the ceiling, and was staring into the faces of a squad of Ancients. They loosened their grips on ceiling, and dropped down. Confronting Agapeto with a sword which thrusted into his left arm. Both arms were injured, and he was barely conscious. He didn't know what to do and thought all was lost. Just then, an Artillian squad burst in, spraying the Ancients with bullets from their Corsairs. That was all Agapeto was able to see before he blacked out.

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practice is not online. practice
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 15412
26 Feb 2014 04:34 PM
Wow.
I'll give you a 1/10, with an extra credit point for taking ROBLOX seriously.

2/10

==►HAU Chancellor
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Drag43 is not online. Drag43
Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 12627
26 Feb 2014 04:35 PM
IF THIS IS TSG'S VERSION OF WIJ CORUS TSG IS DOOMED LOL
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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 04:36 PM
Thanks, Practice. I'll overlook the fact that you didn't acknowledge that it's just a story!
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Zapirian517 is not online. Zapirian517
Joined: 05 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 5978
26 Feb 2014 04:36 PM
"2020" what
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GingerBiscuit99 is not online. GingerBiscuit99
Joined: 15 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 4155
26 Feb 2014 04:36 PM
Really Nice.

I like how H.A.U are getting Jealous.



Being immature will only earn you the right of getting rekt.
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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 04:37 PM
Drag, I'm just starting to write stories. This is my first. Could you at least tell me how to improve?
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NightBladeFighter is not online. NightBladeFighter
Joined: 27 Aug 2013
Total Posts: 3798
26 Feb 2014 04:38 PM
10/10
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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 04:38 PM
Zapirian, I just realized how close that was and how technologically advanced the Gladium is meant to be. I'll change that.
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FlameSpeedyDom is not online. FlameSpeedyDom
Joined: 14 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 3118
26 Feb 2014 04:39 PM
Lol.
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Reburm is not online. Reburm
Joined: 09 May 2010
Total Posts: 12267
26 Feb 2014 04:47 PM
oooo blacked out


-Trap Jesus-
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CaelRex is not online. CaelRex
Joined: 17 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 28489
26 Feb 2014 04:50 PM
make it flow smoother
" in the corner of the room he is in"

well no dip its the corner of the room he's in
just say "the corner of the room"

don't try so hard to use more complicated words
its just annoying when someone tries to sound all intelligent and it is obvious they are trying too hard

those are just my first thoughts

[-The Truth-] [-Epsilon-]
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Drag43 is not online. Drag43
Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 12627
26 Feb 2014 04:50 PM
to improve go to school
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Exonical is not online. Exonical
Joined: 18 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 16490
26 Feb 2014 04:50 PM
you might want to remove the modern day timeline, as it really shouldn't have any relevance to an alien planet

♜ "Even a broken clock is right twice a day"
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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 04:52 PM
Thanks, Cael.

Okay, Sniper.

Will do.
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GingerBiscuit99 is not online. GingerBiscuit99
Joined: 15 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 4155
26 Feb 2014 04:54 PM
Bazoo you should focus on less talking unless you can find words to replace said and the casual spoken words/quotes and speeches. Take notes for when Censire makes the speeches for each raid/training's, Hopefully it will inspire you.



Being immature will only earn you the right of getting rekt.
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UraniumBombs1 is not online. UraniumBombs1
Joined: 27 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 322
26 Feb 2014 04:55 PM
More of this story please.
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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 05:05 PM
Alright, Ginger.

Uranium, I'll most likely do some of part two tomorrow.

♛ TSG Brigand ♛ Commitment. Unity. Integrity. ♛
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Xenolize is not online. Xenolize
Joined: 04 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 529
26 Feb 2014 05:06 PM
This is really good. 10/10
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Dystra is not online. Dystra
Joined: 11 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 9928
26 Feb 2014 05:06 PM
Nice, dude.
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BlackHawk100 is not online. BlackHawk100
Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 15675
26 Feb 2014 05:07 PM
7/10
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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 05:08 PM
Thanks Dystra and Xeno.


♛ TSG Brigand ♛ Commitment. Unity. Integrity. ♛
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bazookapotato is not online. bazookapotato
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 12803
26 Feb 2014 05:09 PM
Fair rating, BlackHawk.

What can I do to improve your rating?

♛ TSG Brigand ♛ Commitment. Unity. Integrity. ♛
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Andrew680 is not online. Andrew680
Joined: 20 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 5340
26 Feb 2014 05:09 PM
Really nice, enjoyed reading

10/10
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Venitel is not online. Venitel
Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 706
26 Feb 2014 05:09 PM
Looks like a lot of time spent, bazooka.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venitel Brenan
TSG Auxiliary

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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