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Re: I HAVE STARTED A NEW RELIGION! SPREAD THE WORD PLEASE!

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Lezus is not online. Lezus
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 547
11 Feb 2014 09:49 PM
And this is based on actual happenings by the way(as told by Emanuel my friend), I have a friend named Emanuel, so one night Emanuel was dreaming that he got caught by a tornado and he started losing his sense of conciousness and before he knew it all went blank! When he woke up he was all bruised and badly injured. So when he's fully awake he noticed that a tall man standing in front of him that shined bright like light said "Come to me Emanuel.... I am the truth!" So Emanuel followed him down a yellow brick road! And when walking down it he explained all about how he created the "witch of the west" as a remedy to violence but all went wrong and she started doing evil deeds! So as a punishment she's now stuck under the house where the original wind monkey stood! Emanuel found out that day that the true saviour and God was..... The wizard of Oz! That's right.

Terms to know to explain to people about Ozism:

. The name of this religion is Ozism, pronounced "O-ZEE-ism"

. A wind monkey is the equivalent to an apostole in this religion, the wind of Oz has touched their holy soul and they are blessed with the "winds of Oz!"

. Our official holiday is on November 12th, and we celebrate it by wearing capes(if you don't have a cape just wear a towel) for three days! That's how long our holiday lasts. November 12th-15th

. Our equivalent of a pope is a Guru

. Non-wind monkeys are called simply Ozists! Ozists who have been chosen by Oz himself to guide everyone spirituality are called wind monkeys at all times!


WHO ARE WE AND WHAT DO WE BELIEVE IN?: We believe that in the beginning the winds of creation blew and our lord and saviour the wizard of Oz blew the universe into existance! We believe that every year on tornado season we shall do a pilgrimage to Kansas where the wind monkeys will guide us to the right tornado and be taken to the yellow brick road and follow every square inch of it until we reach our lord and saviour the wizard of Oz and he'll grant us our wishes! Which brings us to our motto: "A granted wish takes devotion and a few broken bones!" When entering the tornado we all take off our clothes by the way, we need to be purified when we reach Oz and have no Earthly things on us but our sacred bodies!

We believe that live should be lived in pure happiness and in whatever way you want it to! When live ends all Ozists go up with Oz to his great kingdom where he will then ask you "What's your eternity?" However you answer that question is how you will spend your eternity, however YOU want to spend it in happiness and joy!

Our official song: System Of A Down - Sugar

P.S Our official Guru is my friend Emanuel, he is Guru emanuel and spread the word about this great religion.

SPREAD THE WORD AND JOIN THIS BEAUTIFUL RELIGION TODAY! WE HAVE FOUND THE ONE TRUE RELIGION!

P.S You should join because our place or worship has wifi and hot cocoa. :D

- Main wind monkey(me)
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Lezus is not online. Lezus
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 547
11 Feb 2014 09:50 PM
bump
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Vyve is not online. Vyve
Joined: 13 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 15881
11 Feb 2014 09:50 PM
uuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm oookkkk moving on

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
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officialprofessoroak is not online. officialprofessoroak
Joined: 28 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 3372
11 Feb 2014 09:51 PM
dude are you like, high or something
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UnrealizedPotential is not online. UnrealizedPotential
Joined: 17 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 14446
11 Feb 2014 09:51 PM
put down the weed man
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Epianofire is not online. Epianofire
Joined: 03 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 4110
11 Feb 2014 09:51 PM
Is this a joke?
Derp.
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SanshainPureiya is not online. SanshainPureiya
Joined: 10 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 1388
11 Feb 2014 09:51 PM
Still a smarter religion than Christianity
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innernetexlporer is not online. innernetexlporer
Joined: 02 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 85
11 Feb 2014 09:52 PM
tl;dl

♪ Look at my horse, my horse is amazing ♪
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Lezus is not online. Lezus
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 547
11 Feb 2014 09:52 PM
I'm serious, this really is a real religion. I'm not kidding.... In our school we got over 200 people to follow it already.
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FlappyHatSlapper is not online. FlappyHatSlapper
Joined: 02 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 6231
11 Feb 2014 09:52 PM
i can tell you're on weed, bro



you're overthinking a lot of this; only stoners do that










welcome to the club
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Tingletron2000 is not online. Tingletron2000
Joined: 12 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 6775
11 Feb 2014 09:53 PM
Don't you be starting cults in your school, fella
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Lezus is not online. Lezus
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 547
11 Feb 2014 09:54 PM
Don't deny our lord and saviour the wizard of Oz! His mighty winds will hit you if you accept him. Join us!
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Lezus is not online. Lezus
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 547
11 Feb 2014 09:55 PM
bump
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YoshiFTW is not online. YoshiFTW
Joined: 03 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 10917
11 Feb 2014 09:58 PM
""What's your eternity?" However you answer that question is how you will spend your eternity, however YOU want to spend it in happiness and joy!"

MY ETERNITY IS FOREVER PLAYING NINTENDO LAND WITH ALL OF MY POKEMON PLUSHIES AND AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF CHEESE AND PINEAPPLE PIZZA AND CHOCOLATE MILK AND CANDY

"Welcome to Nintendo Land!" -Monita
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Lezus is not online. Lezus
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 547
11 Feb 2014 09:59 PM
@yoshi

Then your eternity shall be that my brother! Just accept Oz and that wish shall be granted.
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