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Re: developed a magic system, opinions wanted

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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 04:42 PM
ok so i might write a book based around this crap even though i originally came up with this for a friend (but i figure it probably won't work for his purposes) so yeah opinions would be gr8 also it's all kinda disorganized because i didn't write this to present it to an audience initially HERE WE GO:

ok so of course we need some backstory to this magic because it doesn't make sense without one
so you have your Pens (capital p because it's not just any old pen) which are essentially regular pens except constructed differently (and very expensive and only availible to certain powerful people because they're made of expensive crap) with different properties depending on construction, in the form of a base ring made of something, preferably magical and in very limited quantity (going to use magi-meteor for placeholder purposes) and then rings of certain gemstones and metals that are essentially modifiers to each other as such:

[BASE RING NEAR TIP OF PEN MADE OF MAGI-METEOR]
["VERB" RING: DETERMINES THE PEN'S PROPERTIES]
[VARIOUS "ADJECTIVE" RINGS THAT MODIFY THE "VERB" RING]
[ANOTHER BASE RING TO CAP OFF THE THING]

so like gold would, as a verb, be "construct" and allow for the creation of things. pretty powerful amirite. as an adjective it might be like, "refine" or whatever and like, make the verb ring more exact and precise
and like silver could be "destroy" as a verb and thus is pretty good at rekking things, and as an adjective might be "power" and make the verb ring superstrong
and then emerald might be "heal" so it would like repair/heal things. also, i really don't like thinking of adjectives. i'll do that later.
ruby might be "damage" or whatever

also essentially everything falls under one of two subcategories, negative or positive (silver and gold being the most vague of each), so yeah

also the ink used is special, and particularly expensive since it's made of a mixture of gold and silver. ink can also be dyed to the preference of the Writer (aka people who possess and use the coolio pens, this can by anyone)

also these pens follow the laws of enegy conservation and mass conservation so everything is drawn from *somewhere* just not necessarily anywhere in the nearby solar system, and generally in trace amounts from other places

i'll have to write something about the actual writing bit too

tl;dr:
magic pens that do coolio things depending on how they're built
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 04:45 PM
on a scale from one to ten did you scroll to the bottom immediately looking for a tl;dr
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segarslandscaping is not online. segarslandscaping
Joined: 07 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 34742
08 Feb 2014 04:46 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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AnonymousF2P is not online. AnonymousF2P
Joined: 24 Mar 2012
Total Posts: 747
08 Feb 2014 04:46 PM
first word

tl;dr
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Moristhecat is not online. Moristhecat
Joined: 02 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 30294
08 Feb 2014 04:46 PM
The world is a giant sloth.

☠ a clever quip to sale yer ship ☠
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 04:59 PM
segar,
no sorry they just write

anonymous,
i'm not sure i understand what you're trying to get across

moris,
am i entirely missing something here or
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Hello777 is not online. Hello777
Joined: 25 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 23489
08 Feb 2014 05:02 PM
"no sorry they just write"

do you write on people to do x ability to them
or what am i missing here, froot
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Oliviajj1337 is not online. Oliviajj1337
Joined: 23 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 5367
08 Feb 2014 05:03 PM
10/10



FREEDOM, GUYS!
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 05:06 PM
"do you write on people to do x ability to them
or what am i missing here, froot"

doesn't have to be on people but yeah essentially; you write on something and it performs x ability
also i think attempting to write on a person might be slightly problematic considering the tendency for living things to move, even under restraints
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Hello777 is not online. Hello777
Joined: 25 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 23489
08 Feb 2014 05:08 PM
why not magic laser pointers on the opposite side from the pen point
laser to interact with people and pen for objects and stuff
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 05:11 PM
that's not how that works
also, "the ink used is special, and particularly expensive since it's made of a mixture of gold and silver." is my explanation for the whole laser pointer not worky thing
also if i were to write a book about this it would probably be set in a time period that's more middle ages than modern day
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 05:13 PM
ok maybe not quite that far back but y'know
i'm not sure what the time period was actually called but
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Hello777 is not online. Hello777
Joined: 25 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 23489
08 Feb 2014 05:17 PM
ok i see then
so if its like that time im thinking its only used by pro thieves and royal stuffs
not sure what to think of on how you could make the idea better



i just cant get the image of people being healed by some bishop drawing on their wounds
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 05:21 PM
yeah, they could only be afforded by noblemen and such, but i imagine that noblemen would also have these pens heavily guarded so thieves would be pretty hard-pressed to manage to steal one o' these pens

also i still have to write up a part on the actual writing, which would make bishops writing on people to heal their wounds seems a bit less silly (see: pre-prepared magical bandages)
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Hello777 is not online. Hello777
Joined: 25 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 23489
08 Feb 2014 05:23 PM
"yeah, they could only be afforded by noblemen and such, but i imagine that noblemen would also have these pens heavily guarded so thieves would be pretty hard-pressed to manage to steal one o' these pens"

i was thinking more of them stealing from those who make the pens to begin with but ye i see what you mean on that
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 05:34 PM
alright time to actually write a part on the writing

so let's say our hypothetical healer has a hypothetical pen constructed as such between the base and cap rings:
emerald (verb)
silver (adjective)
and other stuff that i haven't thought up yet

alright, so he's also got his ink that's dyed green although it's only aesthetic so that doesn't really matter

writing is symbol-based, so you've got a square/diamond (orientation doesn't matter it just looks pretty) with a small circle denoting the top (or something idk, just gotta know where the top is so it can be interpreted)
(also like all of that is placeholder and subject to change)

so you've got all your symbols

top left is a "noun" symbol, so let's say our healer goes for the good old "wound" symbol
top right is a "verb" symbol, and our healer goes for "repair"
bottom left is the "activation" symbol, which has a smaller diamond in the middle with room for another noun symbol, so he goes for "contact" for the activation symbol and "flesh" for the noun symbol
and then like, bottom right is adjectives or something (quick, slow, etc.) and of course certain adjectives could have certain drawbacks (quick might not be complete, slow, of course, is slow but more thorough, etc.)
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 05:35 PM
"i was thinking more of them stealing from those who make the pens to begin with but ye i see what you mean on that"

again, guarded heavily
also the pen-makers would generally also be hired by the nobility and reside within their estates and keeps
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
08 Feb 2014 07:08 PM
so i ate dinner and now i still am not sure what to do with this
if i do make a book out of this, i'm going to have to spend a lot of time developing this
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
09 Feb 2014 07:10 AM
another day another idea

ok so like the strength of the rings is determined by the thickness of said rings
so like, a centimeter would be like strong
also i should develop each of the adjectives a bit more because what's to stop someone from just stacking on all of the rings to make a pen better than all the rest

ok so mayb silver as an adjective, while increasing power, would also increase instability and thus it's more probable that something will go wrong

and gold's current adjective is a really crappy excuse for being lazy since it's essentially silver with a different name

and the writing is weird because even if you start a pen with silver you could still theoretically write "repair" in the top right (verb corner) so i'll have to some up with some way to trash that, mayb come up with a new writing system entirely
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Telesdon is not online. Telesdon
Joined: 25 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 5540
09 Feb 2014 07:14 AM
it was kind of long but sounds cool
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
09 Feb 2014 07:24 AM
i could probably shorten the explanation a good bit because this wasn't originally intended for an audience and thus it's not as concise as it could be
but yeah, still gotta completely remake the writing system
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
09 Feb 2014 08:46 AM
ok with the writing
it's like, good right now
so like
just drop the "verb" part and replace it with something else (the first ring on the pen itself determines the verb ofc) and we're good

and i think that mayb all the rings shouldn't fall under those two broad categories
hmm
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xRageBullx is not online. xRageBullx
Joined: 12 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 1780
09 Feb 2014 08:47 AM
Too much for me to read!
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FruitTheRobot is not online. FruitTheRobot
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8801
09 Feb 2014 08:48 AM
rage,
okay in that case a) don't post and b) there's a tl;dr at the end
fgt
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starwarsbrony43 is not online. starwarsbrony43
Joined: 17 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 13142
09 Feb 2014 09:00 AM
With some modifications this would work perfectly for my thing
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