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Re: The Lyrics To My Song B*tch

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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
31 Jan 2014 11:54 PM
-Phone Beeping-Click-Bro is this you? Ergo:Yeah what you need man Me:I'm having a problem Man
Ergo:Tell me about it man Me:You sure? Ergo:Just tell me dammit

-Music cuts on-
El: Ok Ok...Bi-bi-bi-B*tch she keeps on fncking pissing me off and digging her own ditch/She only wanted me cause she knew I had a talent to make me rich/Not pulling the trigger just the fncking switch/To her electric chair cause the image of her in same other guys underwear is to hard to bare/And if I ever get my hands on the guy who stole her I fncking swear/Wrap my hands around his neck like a damn hunting snare/I don't even know why she loves him hes so small down there/I'm feeling pissed and doing things I usually wouldn't dare/Temper so short that a midjit couldn't compare/I think my damn mind wants out of here/Pulling at my hair/Chewing at my nails wanted to freak her out so put a dead cat in her mail/I'm sorry for stealing your line Eminem I'm just more fncking angry then I can define/By the way say hi to Hailey your daughter is looking fine hope she likes younger men cause one day she'll be mine/And if she ever cheats like my fncking ex/Put a bullet through her spine and snap her neck/Just so damn angry me and my hand had to have breakup s*x/And with out that b*tch I don't know what to do next/My only resort us violence cause I want her to go silent/I don't even know what fncking time it is/Just know this rhyme is as sour as a lime/It is/But I'm so fncking poor if I went into the club I'd have to throw dimes/I can't make it rain I can only make it hail and hope that fncking b*tch burns in hell/She always had a fishy smell/And more people probably ate her then taco bell/I'm feeling sick and at this pace I'll never feel well/Oh well/I'm just so cold I think I need a sweater but I'm still under the weather/Neva will I go through that sh*t again/But I think honestly this is never gonna end/So I just can't pretend/Not that kind of guy that can get over it and just be friends
-Music cuts off-
Ergo:Are you ok man?
Me:Yeah,Just fine.

Alternate ending
Ergo:Are you ok man?
Me:Yeah,By the way would you miss your sister if she went missing?
Ergo:Wait...
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
31 Jan 2014 11:55 PM
-Bows-
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
31 Jan 2014 11:57 PM
Anyone like it?
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
31 Jan 2014 11:59 PM
C'mon one opinion?
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:01 AM
Anyone challenge it?
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chinaboy8686 is not online. chinaboy8686
Joined: 08 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 5330
01 Feb 2014 12:02 AM
[ Content Deleted ]
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:03 AM
Really?
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chinaboy8686 is not online. chinaboy8686
Joined: 08 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 5330
01 Feb 2014 12:04 AM
[ Content Deleted ]
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:05 AM
Now I can finally die peacefully knowing I had a chance of success!
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:06 AM
Your probably the only one to read the whole thing.
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snazzell is not online. snazzell
Joined: 13 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 5693
01 Feb 2014 12:22 AM
Makes no sense, sucks, bad writing.
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:25 AM
How does it make no sense?
It makes no less sense then any rap song I've ever heard.
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drake17dude is not online. drake17dude
Joined: 27 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 1842
01 Feb 2014 12:28 AM
BOOTIFUL
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snazzell is not online. snazzell
Joined: 13 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 5693
01 Feb 2014 12:29 AM
This is Grade-A pop-rap crap but worse.


-You've most likely never been to a club in your life.
-Why would you be with a girl who does this.
-There is no hook you just continuously bring up new sentences
-The rhyming patterns and writing are horrendous
-"It makes no less sense then any rap song I've ever heard." So why don't you make it better than that if you want to be so great.

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Devonta3 is not online. Devonta3
Joined: 03 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 5687
01 Feb 2014 12:30 AM
Was really good in my opinion, I literally could paint a picture in my head while im reading this.
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snazzell is not online. snazzell
Joined: 13 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 5693
01 Feb 2014 12:30 AM
And WTflippingF is a hunting snare???
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:30 AM
I didn't put the hooks in for a reason.
I also didn't put the chorus in.
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:31 AM
If you don't know what a snare is you have no right to judge me.
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rockyykcor is not online. rockyykcor
Joined: 03 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 937
01 Feb 2014 12:31 AM
"Just know this rhyme is as sour as a lime."

Yeah. So are all the other "rhymes" you made in this "song."
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snazzell is not online. snazzell
Joined: 13 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 5693
01 Feb 2014 12:32 AM
I know what a snare is but wtf is a "hunting snare?"
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Devonta3 is not online. Devonta3
Joined: 03 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 5687
01 Feb 2014 12:32 AM
The message was there, The Lyrics could be better, and The flow could be better.
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:33 AM
@Snaz
Snares are used for hunting.

@Devon
I know its not my best work I wrote this after a breakup so I was sorta in a rush and rage filled.
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snazzell is not online. snazzell
Joined: 13 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 5693
01 Feb 2014 12:36 AM
How did your teenage emotion-filled drama-filled superficial one month relationship go?
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rockytree is not online. rockytree
Joined: 18 May 2011
Total Posts: 13713
01 Feb 2014 12:37 AM
It was nine months.
Unlike you I don't get dumped each time a girl hits her period.
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snazzell is not online. snazzell
Joined: 13 Sep 2008
Total Posts: 5693
01 Feb 2014 12:39 AM
"Unlike you I don't get dumped each time a girl hits her period."


I've never had a girlfriend, they're pointless, especially in your teenage years.
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