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| 28 Dec 2013 12:10 AM |
SLOWLY FADE IN:
EXT. DARK FOREST - DAY
TROOPER 1 begins to run through the forest.
Behind him are a series of explosions.
He dives as the camera pans down to show him falling down a cliff and into a lake.
SMASH TO BLACK:
BEGIN TITLES:
"RUN" FADES IN DARK YELLOW FLICKERING LETTERS
SMASH TO:
TROOPER 1 swims out of the lake. He takes off his helmet, revealing himself to be human.
TROOPER 1 Man, they don't pay me enough for this.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST CLEARING - NIGHT
TROOPER 1 is sleeping by a glistening fire. In the distance are orange, unblinking eyes. They begin to move closer, their body hidden in the shadows.
Suddenly the creature stops and lets out a terrifyingly animalistic roar.
TROOPER 1 wakes up, sees the creature, and begins to run. The creature follows.
The two run through the forest under the light of one large moon and two smaller ones on either side.
TROOPER 1 begins to check his utility belt for something to use against the creature.
TROOPER 1 Come on, I can't be totally out of weapons-
TROOPER 1 smiles as he pulls out a small grenade. He stops and turns around as the creature catches up.
TROOPER 1 activates the grenade and tosses it into the air. He watches as it lands into the creature's mouth.
The grenade signals it's detonation with five warning beeps and finally explodes. TROOPER 1 is left covered in all kinds of multi-colored goo.
TROOPER 1 I really don't get paid enough for this.
Six more sets of eyes light up behind him in the moonlit darkness.
SMASH TO BLACK: |
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| 28 Dec 2013 12:33 AM |
| So is this Star wars or generic Slenderman Creepypasta # 472? |
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| 28 Dec 2013 12:35 AM |
I wish I found a slenderman story like this
All I find is
"I WOKE UP. I SAW SLENDERMAN. I ATE BREAKFAST. I SAW SLENDERMAN. I WENT TO SCHOOL. I SAW SLENDERMAN. I WENT HOME AND DID HOMEWORK. I SAW SLENDERMAN. I WENT TO BED. I SAW SLENDERMAN. I DIED." |
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| 28 Dec 2013 12:39 AM |
I wish I found a slenderman story like this
Well to be fair this is just another "running from the bad guy in the woods story." Overused, seen it before. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 12:44 AM |
I can agree.
I just like the visual concept of a stranded Storm Trooper lost in the forest. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 12:45 AM |
I just like the visual concept of a stranded Storm Trooper lost in the forest.
Acutally I change my mind. I'd totally support this if the Creatures are Ewoks from H-E double hockey stick. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 12:57 AM |
Why not?
I mean, they were vicious to the rebels at first. And vicious to the Empire for sure.
What if they captured a Storm Trooper and tortured him? I like the idea of that. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:01 AM |
| I have this image of the next movie opening up in some bar on Coruscant. Just show Han doing something Badd###, Luke swinging his lightsaber around and Introduce Thrawn as the villia and poof! Instant emmy. (Or oscar, whatever awards they hand out nowadays.) |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:24 AM |
Yeah, the torture idea is so much better.
Im thinking "I Spit On Your Grave" meets "Star Wars". |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:30 AM |
Yeah, the torture idea is so much better.
Expect it's not Star Wars? My idea introduces the protagonists, the antagonist and the conflict of the story. It makes sense for a Star wars movie and makes sense from a writing point of view.
Yours is basically a Creepypasta. No offence to it you or anything but it seems out of place for a Star wars movie. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:47 AM |
Your idea is technically both of our's.
All you said was the creatures in my first story should be ewoks from hell
Then I said it should be a torture story in the vein of I Spit On Your Grave
We couldn't have done it without each other. <3 |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:48 AM |
| And I think I misread the hell out of your post but what ever. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:50 AM |
We couldn't have done it without each other. <3
That's what friends are for! (Insert winky face.) |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:50 AM |
This is both good ideas.
Ye, so good luck writing the whole story.
I bet it will be good. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:52 AM |
Ye, so good luck writing the whole story.
Pfft, write a story? I can't do that. I spend to much time insulting yours guys's stories. If I write something you'll just do the same to me. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:54 AM |
| I guess I'll write it and have mage mercilessly tear it apart with harsh language. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 01:57 AM |
I guess I'll write it and have mage mercilessly tear it apart with harsh language.
Harsh language is rude. I tend to use dirty language. Thus I'll just call it a piece of garbage. (Get it? Get it? Eh? Eh?) |
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| 28 Dec 2013 08:14 AM |
| The Storm Trooper must look like Jango Fett since they were clones of him. |
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| 28 Dec 2013 08:22 AM |
| ACTUALLY, lego, they eventually began recruiting humans into the storm trooper corps and phasing out clones |
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Tripcord
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| Joined: 31 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 593 |
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| 28 Dec 2013 08:40 AM |
| If you ever want this made into a film I know some people who can help. |
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NilPirate
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| Joined: 31 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3077 |
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| 28 Dec 2013 10:13 AM |
| Rule 1 of Star Wars: The opening story roll is always the first thing shown, besides the vanity logos and the main title. You can basically do whatever you want after that, but that's essential if you don't want mountains of hate. |
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