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Re: NFC Concept! [Ranks + Background story // (Rate)]

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WannaBet is not online. WannaBet
Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 23607
27 Dec 2013 04:08 AM
This is only a rough draft I started working on.

The concept is based off on V for Vandetta.

The story takes place in Viridia; a nation dominated by narrow minded leaders of the who believed that in order to end war, greed, and misery, society must be forced into submission through the complete restriction of freedoms. A group of people known as the Nightfall Clan initially begin as a terror unit; assassinating figures responsible of establishing oppressive policies and exploding anything with symbolic significance (i.e. propaganda statues, parliament building, etc).

Worried that the clan may inspire others to follow in its footsteps, government officials capture a Nightfall member and broadcast his torture hoping to strike fear into the hearts of the nations' citizens. However, the outcomes is quite the opposite. Although the clan continues to consist of a few true members, citizen masses dedicate themselves to the nightfall movement in hopes of reestablishing liberty and prosperity in their homeland.

The setting takes place in the year of 2050, and is based off on a civil war outbreak between the Nightfall movement (controlled by the Nightfall Clan) and the fascist state of Viridia; led by the Wessianslaw Party.

RANKS:
1. The Viridian People
2. Fist
3. Trigger
4. Devote
5. Enforcer
6. Chieftain

[NIGHTFALL MEMBERS]
7. Disciple
8. Silencer
9. Champion

(Diplomat)
// Affiliate

(HR)
10. Vangaurd
11. Speaker (those who speak & suggest)
12. Listener (those who listen & select)
13. Chancellor

Anything I could do to improve this // make it more thematic?
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EmpressAlexa is not online. EmpressAlexa
Joined: 24 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 7073
27 Dec 2013 04:09 AM
yoooo i was with you guys when you raided TD!!
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LordMeanie is not online. LordMeanie
Joined: 06 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 1604
27 Dec 2013 04:09 AM
kool
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WannaBet is not online. WannaBet
Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 23607
27 Dec 2013 04:10 AM
oh hello elexa


What do you guys think about this? Anything I could do to improve it?
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WannaBet is not online. WannaBet
Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 23607
27 Dec 2013 04:12 AM
crap, I just realized it's 5 AM.

I'm off to bed.

I'll repost a better version of this without any grammatical errors tomorrow.
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Belmontlegend255 is not online. Belmontlegend255
Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Total Posts: 17217
27 Dec 2013 06:57 AM
we need more knights and paladins
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funfun99 is not online. funfun99
Joined: 01 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 369
27 Dec 2013 07:45 AM
I think this sounds great WB, your a genius for thinking this up!
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Allocated is not online. Allocated
Joined: 25 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 26321
27 Dec 2013 07:54 AM
the coleslaw party?

♜ Allocated the Pharmacist - Mario's the bomb - imitater's the imitator - sniper always misses
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thegalaxin is not online. thegalaxin
Joined: 04 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 16366
27 Dec 2013 07:55 AM
"V for Vandetta."

I giggled
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MrEpic9 is not online. MrEpic9
Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 5543
27 Dec 2013 08:24 AM
seems legit
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LIGHTING679 is not online. LIGHTING679
Joined: 11 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 1242
27 Dec 2013 09:17 AM
I honestly am fine with this idea as long as the current HRs can keep their current rank after this idea pulls through.
~LG679
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Europe123 is not online. Europe123
Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 834
27 Dec 2013 11:36 AM
Sounds 100% awesome and clearly majestic. The ranks we came up with fits well with those.
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Protector57 is not online. Protector57
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 21774
27 Dec 2013 11:36 AM
Nice
://
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formulation is not online. formulation
Joined: 21 May 2007
Total Posts: 9020
27 Dec 2013 11:36 AM
hi wb
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BrickMaster01 is not online. BrickMaster01
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Total Posts: 767
27 Dec 2013 01:16 PM
I think this is a great a concept! A lot we can work with here.
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Tesana is not online. Tesana
Joined: 24 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 1420
27 Dec 2013 01:18 PM
... Generic to no end.
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legosonic411 is not online. legosonic411
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 3660
27 Dec 2013 01:21 PM
PLOT HOLE

NFC uses swords and is a joke when it comes to guns, and they're in 2050
They wouldn't get anything done.

I still don't like NFC even with this very cliche back-story
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WannaBet is not online. WannaBet
Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 23607
27 Dec 2013 03:22 PM
@Strongly ButthurtMan

Oh this is cliche? Name me one superclan that uses this background which makes it so generic, I'd love to hear something constructive come out of your mouth.

And by the way, this is a very simple prototype that I drafted out at 5 am while deprived of my sleep. Its full of grammatical errors and nowhere near as elaborate or appealing as it would be once completed.

--
As for everyone else, your positive comments and suggestions are helpful, thank you for advocating this positive change.

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Tesana is not online. Tesana
Joined: 24 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 1420
27 Dec 2013 07:39 PM
It's just a resistance movement against an over-controlling government. There is NOTHING original about that.
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WannaBet is not online. WannaBet
Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 23607
27 Dec 2013 07:59 PM
haha, that's the broad concept that doesn't go over the details, and even in its broad state not a single superpower has this.

If it weren't for detail, star wars and V for Vandetta would've been identical. :)
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Azureous is not online. Azureous
Joined: 29 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 25287
27 Dec 2013 08:01 PM
@Tesana name one clan that actually uses this as their background storyline?

Exactly, because everybody thinks: Oh that's generic, but wait it isn't.
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Thelegender is not online. Thelegender
Joined: 04 May 2009
Total Posts: 6308
27 Dec 2013 10:29 PM
Needs more... Nightfall.. Clan...ness

-I'm an agent of chaos.-
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PumpedROBLOXIAN is not online. PumpedROBLOXIAN
Joined: 05 May 2012
Total Posts: 31357
09 Jan 2014 11:39 PM
omg please no :(
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