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Re: TIS THE SEASON FOR SOME ONIONS

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solid8556 is not online. solid8556
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 1176
26 Dec 2013 01:38 AM
>1967
>Serving in army during the Vietnam war
>Marching through massive onion field with my platoon, looking for Vietcong
>Look under some rocks
>nocommunistshere.ogr
>Suddenly realize my bladder is full
>Step aside to piss
>Notice an impossibly large onion growing in the dirt
>piss on it
>Gun fire erupts behind me and I drop into the piss soaked dirt to take cover
>Piss flys everywhere
>Covered in piss as bullets whiz by overhead
>I reach for my rifle a few inches away from the massive onion
>Onion shakes violently as the dirt around it begins to shift
>Massive green figure emerges from the dirt holding the onion in its hand
>The ogrelord has come
>He uses his massive 30 foot long semi-eshrekt shrock to launch himself into the sky
>"It's all ogre now" he says as his massive shreksticles steam roll across the field
>Musky onion juice soaks the earth as soldiers from both sides are crushed under the shreksticle stampede
>Reinforcements arrive from within the jungle
>They fire at shrek
>It's futile
>Shrek roars and the onions from the field rise into a massive cloud
>onion meteors rain down from the sky
>I feel my bones shatter and my internal organs rupture as the force of the onion storm destroys everything around me
>Everyone is dead
>entire jungle is destroyed and only a crater remains
>Shrek slowly walks towards my mangled body
>"It's not ogre for you yet, laddeh. You should know better than to disrespect the holiest of sacraments"
>He grabs his now fully eshrekt 50 foot long shrock
>Shut my eyes as he spits into his hand and pushes his green girth into my tight poop chute
>Feel my organs parting and wrapping around Shreks love as he goes deeper
>He lifts me up and makes me ride reverse cowgirl
>I wince in pain but Shrek whispers into my ear "Just keep moving and don't look down."
>I begin riding Shreks shrock
>Overcome with peace and love for Shrek as power overtakes me
>In my ecstacy, I look down to see Shreks shrock pushing out 3 feet from my stomach
>My eyes go wide with horror and I scream "Shrek! I'm lookin' down!"
>Shrek roars and his green ogre juice fires out of his shrock at 5000mph
>Ogre juice shoots through my stomach and bursts out of me into a fountain of bloody ogre seed
>My senses are overcome while Shreks love rains down onto the earth behind me, fertilizing the land for new life
>Shrek hands me the onion I pissed on and nods at me
>Enlightenment attained
>Onion harvest is exceptional that season
>Shrek is love, Shrek is life
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solid8556 is not online. solid8556
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 1176
26 Dec 2013 01:41 AM
OGREBUMP
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solid8556 is not online. solid8556
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 1176
26 Dec 2013 01:47 AM
MAXIMUM OGREDRIVE
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solid8556 is not online. solid8556
Joined: 22 May 2008
Total Posts: 1176
26 Dec 2013 02:34 AM
BASK IN THE ONION MUSK
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Essentially is not online. Essentially
Joined: 06 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 30200
26 Dec 2013 02:35 AM
i havent eaten onions in ages
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