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Re: Uncharted Space.

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jeafree is not online. jeafree
Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 2512
17 Dec 2013 03:53 PM
The year is 2451 and the Empire of Earth has spread across our galaxy.

You have been chosen out of a group of experienced pilots to join a mission to visit and recon "Elysium". A galaxy only a few thousand light years away from our own. We have provided you with your own custom ship and are allowing you to choose your crew.

YOUR OBJECTIVES:

1. If possible discover intelligent life and report back to us before any major communications.

2. Find possible resources for our empire.

3. Find a planet habitable for humans and colonize it.

RULES:

1. No Godmodding

2. No using copyrighted alien species like "Predators" or the "Elites" From Halo.

3. No excessive amounts of romance

4. You can remake another character if your's dies.

5. Have fun.

6. If you read the rules put "Spaceship" in the other catagory

YOUR SHIP:

Scout, a very light and agile ship that has little arms and is invisible to any form of radar that we have discovered.

8 Equipment points.
Shield: 100
Ship Health: 150
Speed: Fast out of slip-space

Destroyer, a heavy ship and can hold many arms. Includes a storage hangar for ammunition and possible ores.

10 equipment points
Shield: 100
Ship Health: 400
Speed: Medium out of slip-space

Cruiser, the biggest ship. Consists of a hangar bay, med labs, and a battle room.

20 equipment points
Shield: 100
Ship Health: 1000
Speed: Extremely slow out of slip-space

Squadron, group of artificially controlled ships, light arms.

5 equipment points (all of the equipment you get for this ship is added to each of the 10 ships in your squadron)
Shields: 100
Ship Health: 100
Speed: Very Fast out of slip-space

SHIP EQUIPMENT:

You Choose your equipment for your ship(s). Amount of equipment depends on the size of the ship. All equipment is 1 equipment point. You can buy food and ammo more than once.

SUPPORT CLASS EQUIPMENT:

Cloaking device, bends light to turn your ship(s) practically invisible.

Advanced Radar, let's you see farther out into space with your radar and allows you to scan planets.

Extra Medical Supplies, gives you a med bay on ships without one and extra supplies.

More Storage, allows you to hold more in your storage bay.

More Ammunition, Gives you extra bullets,rockets,and an extra generator.

Extra Shield, Extra shield power. From 100% to 150%.

WEAPON CLASS EQUIPMENT:

Plasma Guns, Shoots a 3 round burst of tracking plasma at the enemy.

Medium reload time
Damage to shields: 25
Damage to ship: 35

Rockets, Shoots rockets from the sides of your ship, 2 at once.

Slow reload time
Damage to shields: 30
Damage to ship: 40

Particle Cannon, A 1 shot laser.

Very slow recharge
Damage to shields: 100
Damage to ship: 50

Railgun, Shoots magnetically charged metal at ships

Super Slow Charge Time
Damage to shields: Goes straight through shields
Damage to ship: 150

Machine Gun, Rapid fire shots

Very fast reload time
Damage to shields: 5 per bullet
Damage to ship: 1 per bullet

GROUND CLASS EQUIPMENT:

Food, 100 crates of space class food

Drill, drills for ores on ground

Guns, 20 assault rifles, 5 snipers, 10 shotguns, 25 pistols. Over 1000 rounds of ammunition for each gun

Self Building House, for colonization. Required unless you return to Earth for one.

Explosives, Used for mining and/or combat. 10 crates of C4, 20 crates of grenades.

YOUR CHARACTER:

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Ship:
Equipment For Ship:
Other:

I hope you enjoy :D
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jeafree is not online. jeafree
Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 2512
17 Dec 2013 03:56 PM
Name: Jeff Carter
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Ship: Scout
Equipment For Ship: Cloaking device,Advanced Radar,Extra Shield,Plasma Guns,Food2, Guns.
Other: "Spaceship"
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Nieol is not online. Nieol
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 1291
17 Dec 2013 04:08 PM
Now time for some creative criticism.
1. Don't repost the same thing over and over again. Just bump it.
2. Too complicated.
3. Why pick anything other than a scout if your only reason is going to scout an area? Even if it's hostile people, you can just speed away and report it to the empire.
4. Why does your character's name even matter if you're controlling the ship? Maybe if you encounter an alien and intend to give it your name. But even then, you shouldn't be doing anything WITH the aliens, so the whole Name, Age, and Gender section are completely useless.
5. If you find a planet, how are you supposed to colonize it if you're only scouting around in a recon ship? I mean, you'd have to have something with enough people to colonize the planet, so it requires at least a bigger ship. Which means you can't really use a recon ship the whole time.
6. Squadron requires multiple pilots so you're not really the ONLY person selected anymore, in fact, you're one of many.
7. Unclear how fast a ship goes. Does super-slow mean I spend five years going one way?
8. Unclear how long it takes for guns to load up/reload. For me, slow could be ten seconds while to another slow could be an hour.
9. Be adaptable. History shouldn't repeat itself nor should you! Even if it's tiny things, make those adjustments other than the title to make the RP better in your eyes! Remember, if people aren't biting something must not be up to their expectations!
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jeafree is not online. jeafree
Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 2512
17 Dec 2013 04:14 PM
I just have to make a statement on 6. I said it was artificially controlled. You control all the ships but from a different location.

Also I keep posting the same thing because I wanted to see which name would attract the most attention, seeing how you are one of the first poster here. I see this is is good.

This was just a test as well. I wanted to see what was wrong with it, so thank you for the criticism.

I intended for you to be able to find aliens, so that's why I included name,age, and gender.

Also what can I fix with it being too complicated?

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Nieol is not online. Nieol
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 1291
17 Dec 2013 04:21 PM
Hmm. It's just a lot. Perhaps you could make it into two posts. And with the main plot it's a bit vague sorta like.
"YOU WON, NOW FIND ME ALIENS OR A PLANET!"
And that's it, no real backstory otherwise. And if you intend to use your character, shouldn't it atleast also have an appearance? Otherwise we're just guessing based off a name what your character looks like. That alone sorta ruins the roleplay experience if you don't even know what someone looks like since there is no appearance.
Also, why can a scout ship have all the weapons imaginable? Please think about that for a second, that a scout ship can grab ALL of the weapons, then some extra supplies. Then consider how small a scout ship should be.

Now I'd like to also praise you.
The amount of "You make this character, not me" kind of feeling makes it a bit more, I don't know, enjoyable. When I look over all the customizations I can't help but say that's good, and give you a pat on the back for allowing all of that.
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jeafree is not online. jeafree
Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 2512
17 Dec 2013 04:24 PM
Thanks for the praise :D

Should I try and collab or something?

I can also lower the customization points.

I just though people would actually use logic and spend it on food/med supplies.
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Nieol is not online. Nieol
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 1291
17 Dec 2013 04:26 PM
Yeah, a collab is always a good idea, it helps you figure out what the people want, and how to make it. It also helps you decide what ideas are good, and which aren't all that swell.
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jeafree is not online. jeafree
Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Total Posts: 2512
17 Dec 2013 04:28 PM
What should I do to the customization points?
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