|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:21 PM |
I looked through the bathroom drawer and found a knife I kept there. "Finally!" I exclaimed and sighed in relief. I had hoped to whatever deity that might be there that nobody would discover the knife, because it was covered in blood. My blood, to be exact. I set it down on the counter, and washed my arm in warm water. Suddenly, it seemed like my reflection was talking to me in the mirror. "Don't do it," it repeatedly said.
I stared at it in disbelief. "You can't be serious," I said. There was no longer hope for me, I've been broken until all hope had died. But my reflection in the mirror kept going, repeatedly saying "Don't do it, don't do it!" over and over again. I laughed. Like I had anything to live for, I thought. I grabbed the knife laying on the bathroom counter, and slowly put the sharp edge to my wrist, to where it would cut the long blue vein that ran down my arm.
My hand slipped as I tried to cut my wrist, and instead I cut the side of my arm. I looked at the crimson blood that oozed out of the cut, and decided to lick it to clean it. It tasted so good... and I wanted more. Grabbing the knife, I made another small cut on my other arm, and licked the blood again. I relished the coppery taste of it. I decided it wasn't enough to taste my own blood, though. Instead, I grabbed a sharper knife, and set out for the streets. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:23 PM |
| Don't you people write about anything besides suicide? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:26 PM |
@mage I'll stop writing about suicide so much when you stop posting your sh--ty writing on my stories and poems. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
iPortia
|
  |
| Joined: 11 Jun 2013 |
| Total Posts: 110 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:27 PM |
oh god
freaking vampires man |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:28 PM |
Maybe he's trolling because you write about suicide
I mean come on, killing others is okay but writing about killing yourself is just troll food
Y U NO REMEMBER YOLO |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:28 PM |
I'll stop writing about suicide so much when you stop posting your sh--ty writing on my stories and poems.
Good lord, please calm down. I'm trying to keep the mood around here lighthearted. No need to flip out because I make a small intentionally poor poem or two. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:29 PM |
@Lego
I actually don't always write about suicide, Here, lemme post a creepy-ass story for you! |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
long106
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 248 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:29 PM |
Well, it's not exactly suicide, is it?
But nice job, Storm. a... bit creepy... I like your descriptions in the last paragraph. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:31 PM |
| the structure he is writing is leading to the main conflict, which is most likely suicide. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
timpookie
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21924 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:35 PM |
Writers of Tomorrow isn't even a very good group. Just puttin' it out there.
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is for all the Bannanachairs to come back to life. Their extinction has caused massive impact on the economy, and several governments have gone into anarchy from this. From Tim. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
long106
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 248 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:40 PM |
| Lego, you don't know for sure. Judging by the ending, it's probably some sort of murder. And, Tim, how would you know? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
timpookie
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21924 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:44 PM |
Because I was in it for maybe a month. I read all the "prompts" that were posted, but they were literally just phrases. Really, it's a shtty group.
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is for all the Bannanachairs to come back to life. Their extinction has caused massive impact on the economy, and several governments have gone into anarchy from this. From Tim. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:47 PM |
| The structure of the character makes you feel it's leading to suicide |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:49 PM |
| Cutting down other writers, Tim, doesn't make you a better writer. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Hadely
|
  |
| Joined: 30 Jun 2011 |
| Total Posts: 37 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:59 PM |
| Tim, you may not have liked the group but you can't just go posting around about how "bad" it is when its just what you think, many people love that group like me and long106.... |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 06:59 PM |
Honestly, Tim, you didn't do anything with the group. We were going through a slow period at that time and you weren't active. You can't get anything out of a group if you don't put in any effort. Everyone else who attempted to put in an OUNCE of effort found it helpful.
This is pretty good, though I do understand why people think it is leading up to suicide. The writing is pretty good though it did seem to jump from 'depressed' to 'serial-killer-insane' a bit quickly. O_O |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Hadely
|
  |
| Joined: 30 Jun 2011 |
| Total Posts: 37 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:00 PM |
| Well written Storm, i really love it :) keep sharing your stories with use :D! |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
timpookie
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21924 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:02 PM |
@Everyone-who-hates-me: Go to RP, you'll feel at home there with all the other Tim-haters.
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is for all the Bannanachairs to come back to life. Their extinction has caused massive impact on the economy, and several governments have gone into anarchy from this. From Tim. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Hadely
|
  |
| Joined: 30 Jun 2011 |
| Total Posts: 37 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:05 PM |
| Tim where not saying that we hate you,where just saying that you can't just go posting insults on peoples prompts for the group just because you don't like it >.> |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
timpookie
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21924 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:06 PM |
Why not? It's not against ROBLOX rules, is it?
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is for all the Bannanachairs to come back to life. Their extinction has caused massive impact on the economy, and several governments have gone into anarchy from this. From Tim. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:07 PM |
I'm with tim here
Freedom of speech |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:07 PM |
He'll stop writing about suicide the day spongebob gets his drivers license. It was beautiful btw. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
timpookie
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21924 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:14 PM |
Plus, I know what you're thinking - I'm a harsh critic and can't write very well at all. Well, here's Falcon if you want proof that I AM a good writer: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=120009538
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is for all the Bannanachairs to come back to life. Their extinction has caused massive impact on the economy, and several governments have gone into anarchy from this. From Tim. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
iPortia
|
  |
| Joined: 11 Jun 2013 |
| Total Posts: 110 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:16 PM |
Opinions are a great thing.
And again, if you can't take criticism very well. Then don't call someone out on them giving their OPINION on something. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
timpookie
|
  |
| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21924 |
|
|
| 16 Dec 2013 07:18 PM |
I really don't think that you structured that sentence correctly, as I can't figure out who the subject is...
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is for all the Bannanachairs to come back to life. Their extinction has caused massive impact on the economy, and several governments have gone into anarchy from this. From Tim. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|