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Re: My introduction for my report is terrible qq

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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 8034
09 Dec 2013 07:47 PM
Introduction
By Kailey
There are many things about the Tolowa Tribe here are some things about them.Tolowa means People to the north.The Yurok Tribe gave the Tolowa Tribe its name.Tolowa is pronounced Taa-Laa-Wa.The Tolowa people lived way north by the Smith River and Klamath River by Oregon.They lived by rocky beaches.The














Im not done
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 8034
09 Dec 2013 07:49 PM
b1
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lou222 is not online. lou222
Joined: 04 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 6907
09 Dec 2013 07:49 PM
*claps*
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mario50man is not online. mario50man
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 6540
09 Dec 2013 07:49 PM
yeah, it is pretty bad. you should revise it before turning it in
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
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09 Dec 2013 07:50 PM
@Mario
Write it for me
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Fairth is not online. Fairth
Joined: 29 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 925
09 Dec 2013 07:50 PM
Look it up on an essay site
Copy and paste
Recieve a commended grade

The jam has been taken.
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
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09 Dec 2013 07:51 PM
@fairth
No
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Fairth is not online. Fairth
Joined: 29 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 925
09 Dec 2013 07:54 PM
I am reviewing the whatever tribe.

The whatever tribe has many unique facts. One of them is that another, equally unique tribe gave them it's name. The name whatever means People of the North. The whatever tribe is pronounced whatever. This tribe was located near the whatever.

This tribe is interesting because...

The tribe also has some really cool...

Add some stuff.
Commended grade.

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omglolara22 is not online. omglolara22
Joined: 12 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 591
09 Dec 2013 07:55 PM
There are many interesting things about the Tolowa Tribe. Tolowa means People to the North (Why Is That Their Name?). The Yurok Tribe gave the Tolowa Tribe its name (Why?). Tolowa is pronounced Taa-Laa-Wa. The Tolowa people lived way north by the Smith River and Klamath River by Oregon. They Also lived by rocky beaches. (Sentences Are Too Short. Needs More Detail)

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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
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09 Dec 2013 07:59 PM
@Fair
Thank You
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
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09 Dec 2013 08:01 PM
@omglol
I'm 9 what do you expect I write short sentences.
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TheLabScientist is not online. TheLabScientist
Joined: 05 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 4115
09 Dec 2013 08:03 PM

There are many things to know about the Tolowa Tribe. I am going to state some of the facts.The Yurok Tribe gave the Tolowa Tribe its name. Tolowa is pronounced Taa-Laa-Wa.The Tolowa people lived way north by the Smith River and Klamath River by Oregon. They lived by the rocky beaches of the rivers. They traditionally spoke the Tolowa language, one of the Athapaskan languages. Their subsistence was oriented around riverine and marine resources and acorns. Their society was not formally stratified, but pressure was on personal wealth.
Tolowa villages were organized around a headman and usually were mostly populated by men. The men brought their wives in from neighboring tribes. The brides were usually related to them (Cousins, sisters ect.).
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
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09 Dec 2013 08:05 PM
@Thelab
tl;dr
My teacher would probably know I copied and pasted.
Make it seem like a 9 y/o wrote it
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omglolara22 is not online. omglolara22
Joined: 12 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 591
09 Dec 2013 08:09 PM
Don't Say Things Like "Here Are The Reasons.." "I'm Going To Tell You.." Things That Involve You. Only State Facts.
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Awkrin is not online. Awkrin
Joined: 08 Sep 2008
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09 Dec 2013 08:12 PM
"Kailey"

My mate spells it Kiley... I doubt you are real.
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Fairth is not online. Fairth
Joined: 29 Oct 2013
Total Posts: 925
09 Dec 2013 08:12 PM
Then consider yourself a genius.
Tell her that you do your best work not being manipulated with noises from the children around you. Also, that it's neccesary to place you in a gifted group due to the fact that you can, by honest opinion, score commended.

The jam has been taken.
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
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09 Dec 2013 08:17 PM
@Aw
I'm real
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Awkrin is not online. Awkrin
Joined: 08 Sep 2008
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09 Dec 2013 08:20 PM
Doubt it. There can only be one.
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Zeriten is not online. Zeriten
Joined: 05 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 19839
09 Dec 2013 08:23 PM
that is unbelievable
here i am in seventh grade writing better than these eleventh graders
tsktsk

Perhaps you've heard of some foreign tribe on Discovery maybe, yet did you know there was a tribe that lived right here in Oregon? It goes by the name, the Tolowa Tribe, and is pronounced Taa-Laa-Wa. These people lived far north up the Smith river and Klamath river by Oregon. The rocky beaches provided shelter to some of the food this tribe needed to live, like fish.

i have no idea lelelell

- Zᴇʀɪᴛᴇɴ
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 8034
09 Dec 2013 08:23 PM
I'm done tell me what I should change.


Introduction
By Kailey Kwok
The Tolowa Tribe has many unique fact. Did you know the Yurok Tribe gave the Tolowa Tribe its name? The name Tolowa means People of the North. The Tolowa Tribe is pronounced Taa-Laa-Wa. This tribe was located way up in the north by Oregon and rocky beaches.Some natural resources that was near them are acorns,shells,and seaweed.Since the Tolowa Tribe had 4 different areas the climate would be different in each area.This tribe spoke two languages Chetco-Tolowa and Siletz Dee-ni.Some tribes that lived near the Tolowa people are Yurok Tribe,Shasta Tribe,Hupa Tribe,and the Karok Tribe.
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Zeriten is not online. Zeriten
Joined: 05 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 19839
09 Dec 2013 08:25 PM
"The Tolowa Tribe has many unique fact." AW YEAH JUST GOTTA LOVE DEM PLURAL.

- Zᴇʀɪᴛᴇɴ
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 8034
09 Dec 2013 08:26 PM
*facts
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mario50man is not online. mario50man
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 6540
09 Dec 2013 08:27 PM
you're 9? oh, well i guess it's okay for a 9 year old
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OnlineDancer101 is not online. OnlineDancer101
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
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09 Dec 2013 08:28 PM
@mario yay it's too late11!!
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dralion is not online. dralion
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 17440
09 Dec 2013 08:38 PM
There are many things about the Tolowa Tribe here are some things about them.
-try opening it with a less-generic beginning. also, you basically said "here are some facts about the Tolowa Tribe" twice.

Tolowa means People to the north.The Yurok Tribe gave the Tolowa Tribe its name.
-this is fine.

Tolowa is pronounced Taa-Laa-Wa.
-why don't you put this at the very begining.

The Tolowa people lived way north by the Smith River and Klamath River by Oregon.
-the Smith and Klamath rivers are both in California. why don't you just put that they're in California? also, you should take out "way north."


They lived by rocky beaches.
-why don't you say that they lived near rocky beaches, since you already said that they live by the two rivers (don't use "by" two times in a row).
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