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Re: The Dawn of Raiders

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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:24 PM
There I was waiting in the long line of people for my free taco. It was Wednesday, a very busy day for the “Crunchy Taco.” I got a little inpatient in the line so when it began to move I started to push my way through the really thick line. People began to say. “Hey! Get in the back of the line!” I still went forward but came to a painful stop as I bumped in to a soldier’s armor. “Don’t worry I got it sir.” said the soldier calmly to his commanding officer. Then he looked at me as if I killed his brother! “Get out of here you civilian before I shoot you!” I ran as fast as I could out of there! I heard them laughing as I ran to where I lived. I lived in a rather weird part of the planet. I walked up to my house and I was greeted by Old man Rut, “Hello Rick. And what are you doing on this fine winter morning?” he said in a quiet voice. I responded, Hey. You know what those UNSC soldiers did to me? The old man’s eyes lit up. “What?” “They said they’d shoot me if I didn’t leave the line!” The old man had a quick smirk on his face but he quickly yawned and said, “Oh I know! Why don’t you send a complaint to the United Nations Space Command?” You’ve said that before Rut and I’ve done that before… It just doesn’t work! The old man shrugged and walked into his big nice house. I walked into my house looking at my old UNSC posters and cups. It’s time for a change! I thought. I got all my UNSC cups and posters and threw the cups out the window and ripped up all the posters. I’ve had it with the UNSC! I’ve been bossed around by them long enough. I am going to be no longer a slave of Keyrut’s anymore I will use all my credits to buy a ticket at the spaceport and leave!
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:24 PM
So I started getting my things, throwing food and clothes in my bag. Then I started off to the space port. When I got to the spaceport there was lots of UNSC soldiers there, stopping people and sending them back to where they came from. Hey what’s going on? I said. “Get to cover there is a raid warning!” Do we know who is coming? I asked. “If we knew don’t you think we would have told you?” Well I guess… and before I could say anything more he said “Move along civilian you’re making people wait for nothing…” Well I guess I can’t go any were until the warnings off… I wasn’t worried because every warning was a false alarm, well most of the time… The only time there was a raid was when the United Rebel Front attacked the city. Twenty Three UNSC soldiers had fallen. And as for the United Rebel Front there losses were seven men killed and three men injured. So I was once again going to the Crunchy Taco thinking there wouldn’t be a long line, but then I saw that it was closed! Great… Now what, I’m starving? I thought Now where can I go for food elsewhere? Well let’s see, there’s the Greasy Burger! Nah, to greasy… Then I heard a sound like I’ve never heard before it was like metal snapping and screeching against each other, along with gun fire and yells coming from the hill. I soon knew that this attack was an official raid! But who could it be? I know! It’s the URF! The United Rebel Front was one of the few groups that would ever raid the UNSC. Probably because the UNSC saw that anyone trying to raid them would have next to nothing in supplies. And no group liked being unfairly defeated by the United Nations Space Command.
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:25 PM
I ran to my house and grabbed my bag and realized I had food in there… Well that was a fail… I got to somehow get out of the city! So I went to hide in the closest food place, the Greasy Burger. Even though I hated there food it seemed like a place that raiders would just leave alone, well I hope…
As I walked up to the diner, I could see through the window, two men who were wearing helmets and in suits. I thought they might work for Traxus but I didn’t know for sure. I went inside they quickly started talking about something like a steel factory and how much they made. One said “I make 500 credits a day.” And the other said “Me 1,000.” And they went on talking about things like “How’s business doing?” I began to listen but I got bored, much of what they were saying didn't even seem to make sense. Then I saw something that alarmed me. One of the men passes a note to the other under the table, and I saw what looked to be a concealed weapon in his coat. They must be talking in code I thought. I decided this place wasn’t safe after all. I went out to the parking lot and tripped over an unusual black item in the street. I almost wanted to laugh! It had blended in so well with the street that I didn’t see it at all! Then I looked at the strange object. It’s a gun! I shouted. Then I heard men rushing to me as if I did something wrong! “You, where did you see a gun” They asked? I quickly responded Uh… Yeah, I mean… Yeah in the Greasy Burger! I said with the gun behind my back. The soldiers, no longer interested in me, immediately requested back up and dashed for the door. I quickly put the black pistol in the snow! Then I saw a M12 warthog with a big gun on top. It stopped in front of the diner, men piled out of that thing leaving nothing but a gunner in the turret. One soldier shouted to the men in the diner, “COME OUT HERE WITHOUT YOUR GUNS RAIDERS!” Then I heard a shout from the inside of the diner, “NEVER!” One UNSC soldier ran in!
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:26 PM
I could hardly keep myself from laughing. It was hilarious, watching him as he seemingly tripped on something as he ran in, throwing his hands up, dropping his gun and falling flat on the floor. Such an easy target, there’s no way he could have survived… Then I saw two soldiers with sniper rifles at the top of the tunnel entrance that runs between here and the main part of the city. I think it’s time to get out of the way. I said. I got up with the pistol behind my back. As I ducked towards an alley I saw a soldier run in the diner, shooting like crazy! He picked one of the suspects off before he fell to the ground. I almost felt bad for the remaining raider, just him trying to take on the UNSC. So I left, leaving the skirmish behind. When I went behind the diner I saw there was a ramp leading up to the city walls. Well it was more like rocks around the city. I went to the top seeing the whole entire city. I traveled to the city gate. There was a slope that went down to the road that leads some were… Wait if civilians are caught outside of the city, they’ll be shot! I sat down and began to think “Do I really want to risk my life by going and looking for a place to hide outside of the city? I heard the sound of snow crunching behind me, then a voice! “Don’t move,” I turned around and a man in white camouflage asked “Who are you?” I am Rick paze, just a civilian. “Who are you?” The man looked behind me. “Give me that gun.” He reached for my gun but I quickly interrupted. Stop,” You still haven’t answered my question.
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:27 PM
The man looked at me and said “I am working for the Raider Dawn.” And then he took the gun, “Stay with me we might need you.” Wait what? I said. So I followed him to a nearby cave. We waited for what seemed like hours to see his so called leader. Finely a man walked up to the cave. The man looked tired as he walked over to us. “Bossk where's the Spy?” Bossk replied. “He’s dead…” We were in the diner and we got in a fire fight. A UNSC soldier rushed in, and killed him.” Bossk looked at me and said “Who are you?” I am Rick and I decided I want to join you guys “Great we need all the men we can get.” Bossk sat down in the cave looking out at the white sheet of snow over the ground. Why are you guys here anyway? I asked. Bossk looked at me, “Were here to get supplies for are ship the Intrepid. It’s been banged up pretty good in its last battle with three UNSC frigates.” Then the other raider’s face lit up! “I have an idea! I have a UNSC uniform, and he’s a civilian right?” Bossk looked at the raider “Yeah.” The raider started up again “So if I disguise myself as a UNSC soldier, Rick and I can get in the city were we can scout out for supplies!” “Good thinking FlyingDart!” So we went off to the city going up the little slope and dropped into the street. “Over here Rick!” I ran over to where FlyingDart was standing, next to a small supply yard. “Look at all this metal plating!” He said as he pulled back the tarp that was over it. ”Alright I’ll call in a drop ship and we’ll load it up!” Then FlyingDart's expression told me there was a problem. What’s the matter? I asked. “The raider ship will be spotted” he said. "With all these armed guards patrolling the city there's no way we would be able to load the ship." After a lot of thinking, we decided the only way we could get the supplies to the raider planet and start repairing the Intrepid, was to find a way to get the supplies out of the city so we could load it undetected. I went to the space port again and saw that the UNSC soldiers were still there. I tried not to be seen as I walked over to a truck. I quickly got an idea. “I’ll get that truck, drive over and pick up the supplies with FlyingDart, escape the city and a ship can pick it up.” I thought this was the best plan we had.
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:27 PM
I went over to the truck and saw there were no keys in it. Then two men walked over to the truck and grabbed a box from it and started caring it. As they bent over to put the box down I forcefully grabbed the key that dangled out of a pocket and ran to the truck. “HEY! He has the key to the truck!” The two men began to run torrid me! I started up the truck and drove off. Gun shots erupted behind as a warthog raced after me! I went in a loop around the city trying to shake him off but the hog was closing in! Looking in the rear view mirror I could see my pursuers razing there weapons. I knew I needed to act. While taking a tight tern I dumped the trucks massive load of crates filled with Robloxy cola. The crates splintered on impact and cola pored and fizzed everywhere. The hog's brakes screeched as it skidded into an empty bus stop. I finely lost them! Back at the supply yard FlyingDart was very surprised to see me drive up in a truck. He signaled for me to back up. As I pulled in, he instantly started loading it as I ran to the pile of metal. When we finely got it loaded we drove to the city gate. It was open! A squad of patrolling marines had just returned from a patrol outside the city. However, now that they were all inside, the gate began to close, "gun it" shouted FlyingDart. I stomped on the peddle, the trucks engine roared, it was going to be close! Bullets whizzed all around us as the truck charged toured the steadily shrinking opening. At the last second before we cross the gates path I close my eyes. The sound of medal grinding and scraping filled my ears. But we made it! On the other side of the wall I heard gun shots all around us, and are near collision with a solid steel gate had sent us veering into a snow bank. Dart, what do we do? I asked, but without reply he grabbed his gun. Kicking open the passenger door he jumped behind the bank and started returning fire!
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:28 PM
I grabbed my pistol and started shooting. Atop the cliff face directly above the gate, several marines fired sporadically. After shooting three of them the soldier’s retreated to regroup. We had to get the truck out of the snow bank somehow. “Were going to call in a drop ship right here,” Said FlyingDart. Are you crazy? I said. He just ignored me and then started calling in a drop ship. The ship must have been close, in no time it landed right in front of the rear of the truck. We dumped the load in to the ship leaving whatever fell to the ground. We all boarded the ship as the city gate began to reopen, “Hey you!” One raider said. What? “Man the gun.” Well… Uh… Sure… I said. Though I never had used a turret before… So we started off to the cave. Only two men were there this time instead of one. Someone was with Bossk. We landed next to the cave and walked up to the two men. All right men let’s head back to the raider planet to repair my ship,” Said the man standing right next to Bossk. “The Intrepid is your ship?” I asked. “Yes it is, Hmm… It seems we have not met before.” Yeah, I’m Rick. I’m new to the Raider Dawn, “It’s always good to see a new man joining us in the fight” he replied. “I’m Rapter the leader of Raider Dawn.” He walked in to the ship and got in the driver seat. I got in the gunner seat again. The door shut closed as the small drop ship lifted up and flew off into space. The men, eager to get to work on the Intrepid began to talk about what parts needed to be fixed and what tools they needed for the job. Finely we could almost see the planet. But an enormous, gray vessel came out of slip space, blocking our view. What is it, I said? Rapter yelled out, “Frigate, Open fire Rick!”
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:29 PM
I started firing at the frigate but the guns had no effect on its thick armor. Rapter grabbed the controls and aimed the guns on the bridge of the ship. He opened fire! The Frigates Bridge engulfed in flames, drifting harmlessly away. We rocketed to the planet and enter its atmosphere. The raider planet was a flat and desolate place. I scoured the surface looking for a settlement. Suddenly light reflecting off of metal cot my eye, there sitting out in the open a white and red ship, about the size of three UNSC frigates. That must be the intrepid I thought. It was cover in scaffolding and a large crane stood motionless at its side. We landed in a supply yard that was located right next to the Intrepid. The men piled out of the ship and went right to work. The work took weeks before it started to look like the ship was intact. Rapter was talking to Bossk as the raider work force worked on one of the last large sections of metal that needed to be replaced. I listened to them talking about attacking the UNSC. Apparently on their previous mission, Rapter and his squad had been spying on the UNSC defenses, while Bossk and his squad where to meet up with a spy and collect the needed supplies. They both agreed that the UNSC was unprepared for a full on attack. The Intrepid, once repaired would be used to set up an orbital blockade, and launch a planetary invasion.
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:31 PM
Soon the ship was ready. We all boarded and Bossk held a meeting about the plan of attack. “Alright men were going back, but this time we are setting up a blockade that will cripple the UNSC in this sector. We are going to assemble a fleet of drop ships that will join the Intrepid in the attack so we need teams, follow your team leader’s commands. DrSquigglez and I will be the leaders for the drop ships. Rapter is staying at the Intrepid to fly it with FlyingDart. Bossk and DrSquigglez had everyone line up and they started assembling the teams. DrSquigglez chose first, “Henster you’re with me.” Bossk said “Rick your with me.” After all the other raiders were divided up, the two teams were equipped and boarded there designated drop ships and followed the massive flag ship as it flew to the targeted system. The Intrepid came to a stop on the top of the planet. Immediately the UNSC responded by meeting the drop ships with D77-TC pelicans. We broke out in a space battle dodging blasts of pelican fire. There were three pelicans with in dangerous range of my ship. I engaged one, blasting part of its side off. It hurled back to the planet below, “Two more to go” I thought. Then our ship took a huge blow to the side and crashed in to a pelican. We broke formation with the other raider drop ships and started making for the hanger on the Intrepid. “We might not make it!” Bossk said. Why? I shouted, “Because we are leaking fuel!”
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:32 PM
As soon as we were in the hanger the ship drop to the deck with a loud crash. Is everybody ok? I asked. Then I heard voices coming from somewhere in the wrecked ship. “Yeah…” We all stumbled out and walked over to one of the interior hanger doors. The door slid open and gun fire erupted! Some of the raiders around me fell to the ground as we started to return fire! There had been a UNSC boarding party that had taken the main deck of the Intrepid, and we happened to stumble into their trap. Bossk drew his pistol, dropping two men as he leaped into action! He lunged forward behind cover as he grabbed the M90 off his back. He began holding them off as we advanced farther in to the main deck. We saw that Rapter and FlyingDart were holding an area off. So we began to flank the UNSC. We flew into action guns blazing, and the UNSC had no idea what happened! “It’s a good thing you came when you did, we were outnumbered by five men in there.” Rapter said, looking at Bossk. “No problem sir.” Rapter looked at us with a concerned look on his face. “What is it?” I asked. “There are more boarding parties on the way." I want the whole ship patrolled men." Here we go again, I thought.


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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
04 Dec 2013 11:32 PM
About the story
Most characters names in the story were shortened like Spy was BosskSpy and Bossk was really RoBloxBossk, FlyingDart was short for FlyingDartFish and Rapter was short for RapterGRR. Some events in the story were true like, the Greasy Burger with Bossk and Spy talking about steal factories and how much they made. As well as the Intrepid setting a blockade on the planet.
You can join the Raider Dawn at www.roblox.com/Groups/Search.aspx?val=raider%20dawn&sort=Member+Count&filter=All
Or enter the battle at
www.roblox.com/Raider-Conflict-II-place?id=103187174
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bankheadboy is not online. bankheadboy
Joined: 05 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 90
05 Dec 2013 11:56 AM
Well... That was pretty much a fanfiction if you ask me but eh I enjoyed reading it so I give it a maybe 7/10.
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
05 Dec 2013 02:34 PM
Thanks Bankheadboy!
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RapterGRR is not online. RapterGRR
Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 11
05 Dec 2013 02:52 PM
Rick you did a awesome job at making this.
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IceDragon4242 is not online. IceDragon4242
Joined: 23 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 183
05 Dec 2013 03:01 PM
Nice job, well written :)
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RoBloxBossk is not online. RoBloxBossk
Joined: 23 May 2012
Total Posts: 44
06 Dec 2013 03:56 AM
Nice job rick! Its epic, time to make the movie.
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FlyingDartFish is not online. FlyingDartFish
Joined: 21 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 2
06 Dec 2013 02:44 PM
Thanks for posting this Rick.
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MomawNadon is not online. MomawNadon
Joined: 25 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 1
06 Dec 2013 03:10 PM
vary funny
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GiverOfKOs is not online. GiverOfKOs
Joined: 07 May 2013
Total Posts: 1
07 Dec 2013 12:59 AM
I wonder who "Old man Rut" is?
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BigMackPackHeat is not online. BigMackPackHeat
Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 1
10 Dec 2013 09:19 PM
likely story...
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RapterGRR is not online. RapterGRR
Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 11
12 Dec 2013 11:38 AM
Rick you should make part two!
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
12 Dec 2013 11:40 AM
Great idea, I'll do it now!
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swiftattak7 is not online. swiftattak7
Joined: 09 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 8029
12 Dec 2013 11:47 AM
While your at it, place them into paragraphs please, it's hard to read all squished together.

But nice story.
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RickPaze is not online. RickPaze
Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 17
27 Jan 2014 09:19 PM
Hope all of you like it!
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RoBloxBossk is not online. RoBloxBossk
Joined: 23 May 2012
Total Posts: 44
02 Mar 2014 10:19 PM
Bump.
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