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| 29 Nov 2013 06:22 PM |
Got bored
Some rappers these days are starting to fade Their only microwave hot, and I'm always shooting gamma rays I open them up and eat them like a bag of lays Sorry to chucky for ruining your day Because I making this look a lot like child's play
I drown my sorrows with the positive in my life My mind stays as sharp as a knife I stand up for what's right Always ready to fight And this is only the beginning of a long life
Helpful Criticism would be nice |
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Jared343
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| Joined: 02 Mar 2009 |
| Total Posts: 9030 |
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| 29 Nov 2013 06:29 PM |
| Oh look, something you can easily edit and think about what you're writing, this is a true freestyle! |
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| 29 Nov 2013 06:35 PM |
"Oh look, something you can easily edit and think about what you're writing, this is a true freestyle!"
He makes a good point.
OT: Your first couple of lines (specifically your first two) were good, then things got fairly basic. It's hard to comment on anything else because it was short. |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:08 PM |
| If you were to grow up and become a rapper, I might listen to you. Mostly because your one of the few that don't talk about drugz, "happy, happy, fun time", or how rich they are. Right now I only listen to EMIN3M, and thats about it. |
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Eterra
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| Joined: 23 Nov 2012 |
| Total Posts: 422 |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:09 PM |
| if that's the only reason you listen to eminem, you're probably missing out somewhere |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:13 PM |
| Go be a troll somewhere else, I can like someones music for whatever reason. |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:20 PM |
there are a lot of other rappers/hip hop producers who still make music and don't swear a lot I would recommend tyler the creator, but he swears some |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:21 PM |
| EMIN3M swears... well... ALOT! So I am ok with a lil' swearing. Ill check him out soon sometime, ty. Now try and focus on the main part of this topic. |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:23 PM |
I CAN RAP BETTER!!
Everyone is chunky Looking like a monkey Swallowed your key set BEEP BEEP I bet Meow meow Purr purr Hiss hiss NEEEEAAH NEEEEAAH I'm a little kitty Purrs little kitty As a little kitty Tear off the kitty's skin and Eat It Raw
C: |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:26 PM |
| I shall devour your kittens whole and poop them out just in time for Christmas.. |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:27 PM |
| I then shall call animal control. |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:41 PM |
| THOSE ANIMAL CONTROL FREAKS WON'T GET A HOLD OF MY ILLEGAL HORSE MEAT FROM MY BUTCHERING BARN!!!! >:O |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:44 PM |
| I mean, fresh cow meat LEGALLY processed with no hormones added to the cows c: |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:52 PM |
| I can never drink milk again. |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:53 PM |
| Your milk cartons are filled with bull milk... q.q |
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| 29 Nov 2013 10:54 PM |
| Staph, STAPH, I DONT WANNA HEAR WHATS IN MY MILK! |
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| 30 Nov 2013 08:31 AM |
| and in the milk are rat feces for flavor and dog skin for the thick texture... |
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FIRECAKE
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| Joined: 28 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 25167 |
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| 30 Nov 2013 11:11 AM |
"Their only microwave hot, and I'm always shooting gamma rays"
its funny because
1. They're* 2. neither microwaves nor gamma rays are "hot," rather they accelerate particles that they come into contact with causing the particles to generate energy, mainly in the form of heat. |
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| 30 Nov 2013 11:13 AM |
You just got the award for...
Being a complete nerd. |
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FIRECAKE
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| Joined: 28 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 25167 |
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| 30 Nov 2013 11:37 AM |
| thats like 6th grade science but ok |
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| 30 Nov 2013 12:45 PM |
"'its funny because
1. They're* 2. neither microwaves nor gamma rays are "hot," rather they accelerate particles that they come into contact with causing the particles to generate energy, mainly in the form of heat."
You missed the point, the point is that on a scale of energy gamma rays are > microwaves. The "microwave hot" was on its own, not connecting to the gamma rays half of the line. |
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