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| 23 Nov 2013 08:28 PM |
>be me >be 18 >be forced to help the special needs department at school to make up for failing gym last year >be chaperone for tard field trip to six flags >teacher suggests I bring a movie for the tards to watch on the bus ride there >hoping to pick something they'd like, I brought Shrek >DVD menu pops up, tards seem to be happy with the choice >all of a sudden, this ultra-obese, downs tard named Shane jumps from his seat >"No! Dish movie is big babies, heuh heuh", he exclaimed >other tards start squealing, "I'm no baby", demanding I switch out the movie >Bus driver getting irritated >Without a split second, the bus started shaking disproportionately to the road >A large green fist punctured through the roof of the bus >omg >A ɴᴀᴋᴇᴅ, and extremely ᴘɪssᴇᴅ off Shrek busts through the roof, crushing shane as he landed, shattering all the poor tard's bones >Bus driver begins freaking out, swerving in fear along the road >still alive and in agony, shrek picks shane up from under his feet >"Laddeh, you better check yourself before you shrek yourself" >all the tards watch and laugh as shrek tears shane's clothing >Shrek brutally shoves his 16 inch eshrekt ᴄᴏᴄᴋ down shane's throat >Spit and blood douse shrek's ᴄᴏᴄᴋ >Shane's gag reflex gives out, and he vomits all over shrek's ᴄᴏᴄᴋ >"Bedder out den en, I always say" >throws shane's dying body out the widow, hitting every car on the interstate >85 car pile up >the tards and I scramble to the back of bus, in some futile attempt to avoid ogre sᴏᴅᴏᴍʏ >police helicopter hovers overhead >ᴡʜᴀᴛᴛʜᴇғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢғᴜᴄᴋɪsɢᴏɪɴɢᴏɴ?? >Shrek is now pretty ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴘɪssᴇᴅ >grabs extremely autistic kid by his feet >screams and kicks like a ʙɪᴛᴄʜ >Shrek effortlessly rips the tard in half >throws tard at an ungodly speed out of the window, hitting the police helicopter >direct impact causes tard's guts and mutilated body to tangle the propeller >begins plummeting towards the bus >tards and I scream ʙʟᴏᴏᴅʏ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ >suddenly, all goes black >I wake up >fire all around me >destroyed cars and dead bodies all around me >surprised I was still alive, I weakly said to myself, "Its over..." >as soon as I closed my eyes again, the stench of onions and sounds of farts penetrated my senses >ғᴜᴄᴋғᴜᴄᴋғᴜᴄᴋғᴜᴄᴋ >its shrek >"Its not ogre til i say its ogre laddeh" >shrek throws me high into the air as he lays on the ground >As I fall to earth, I see his ogre ᴄᴏᴄᴋ aimed for my tight, ᴠɪʀɢɪɴ ᴀɴᴜs >life flashed before my eyes >In a grueseome impact, I land on shrek's green member >penetrates through my mouth >begins thrusting me up and down his shaft >spins me around ᴄᴏᴄᴋ as he ᴄᴜᴍs green onion sauce like a fountain through my mouth >shrek is love, shrek is life
We can dance if we want to! |
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| 23 Nov 2013 08:31 PM |
@Sub
Well, better make three cuts tonight instead of two... |
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| 23 Nov 2013 08:32 PM |
@Wis
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
We can dance if we want to! |
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| 23 Nov 2013 08:33 PM |
Shrek is a lie
Only Spode is true |
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iwantpsp
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| Joined: 07 Sep 2010 |
| Total Posts: 14291 |
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| 23 Nov 2013 08:36 PM |
@psp
you are lie.
We can dance if we want to! |
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