me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:20 PM |
The wind blown the clouds darken. Spike ! Spike ! where are you? katty scream Katty, Where's spike. nattle questioned katty "i do not know nattle give me 3 reasons why i should not cut myself and die" "come on katty don't act like that" We are never going to find spike i going home" Don't give up katty" Why should i? "He's waiting for you to come he knows your the-" "NO! you may not know he probably just run away from me rember what happen last week He seen me in the shower and touched me" katty he liked that he was close to you"
chapter 2 comeing next week give me ideas on what should happen on chapter 2 |
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Brexns
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| Joined: 26 Oct 2013 |
| Total Posts: 610 |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:21 PM |
| Go more into detail about spike and katty's relationship and past, maybe a flashback |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:26 PM |
| ty bre chapter 2 will have a flash back |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:28 PM |
| 0/10 horrible work never come back here again |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:29 PM |
I was born in the darkest day of February, forged from lies and sins, black hearts and unhappiness, the aftermath of my brother and sisters father's divorce, the punching bag at 3 years old.. I was born in darkness, there I will stay.. Only leaving for the person I love the most, to protect her in the light from other peoples darkness.. Every day preventing her from harming herself.. Making her feel better, she wont let me fight for her though, she's afraid I'll get hurt..
This is my reality.. This is my every day life.. |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:30 PM |
| i do admit this is a horrible story movies are always better =p |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:31 PM |
| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NuONuafxwk |
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| 02 Nov 2013 11:35 PM |
It isn't a story..
I was born on February, abused until I was 11, my brother started taking depression pills, my brother and his friend did horrible stuff, like tied me inside a trash bag and punched me, gave me black eyes, shot at me with airsoft guns in a field as I ran, screamed and cried, locked me in dark rooms, starved me, I got bullied at school, and cried myself to sleep every day, my father died when I was 6, my mother always yelled at me.. I got told I was adopted every day.. I began to cut at 6, because I heard it helped.. It did, my wrists are now deep with scars, my throat with a scar.. My sisters best friend took care of me.. She gave me pickles when I was hungry and grill-cheese sandwitches, we'd play hide-and-go-seek, and get revenge on my brother and his friend sometimes.. She rarely did that, but it helped me a lot.. It gave me hope.. Sometimes she'd turn on me, which I understood.. I'm here now, you're not emo.. |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 03 Nov 2013 06:41 PM |
| i was not talking to you bro |
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Aikai
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| Joined: 21 Jun 2011 |
| Total Posts: 6967 |
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| 03 Nov 2013 06:42 PM |
look at all the tryhard 12 year old's trying to sound emo cuz its "cool"
go home
~Crunchy Munchy Honey Cakes~ |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 03 Nov 2013 06:43 PM |
| =p anyways the story never that emo on chapter 1 it just something random |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 03 Nov 2013 06:44 PM |
| IT JUST A STORY PEOPLE -_- NOT TRYIN TO BE ANYTHING |
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Dunamas
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2012 |
| Total Posts: 283 |
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| 03 Nov 2013 06:47 PM |
EMO LIFE
THE PROLOGUE
BY BLOXABRICK THE BUZZARD OF ALTIS
Two friends were walking on a very sunny day. The sun shined elegantly and the skies were deep in bright blue. The clouds floated towards at a direction carelessly. When all was good, the two friends saw some suspiciously dressed folk. They wore red and black and appeared to be in a stir of trouble. Luckily for the two friends, they were policemen on duty. "Halt!" Said one officer. "Drop that knife! NOW!". The other policeman ran towards them and pushed the so called named 'Spike' to the ground. The policeman who yelled told 'Katty' to stand back, and made sure she didn't interfere with the arrest. "You have the right to remain silent." said the officer arresting 'Spike'. The knife was taken away with a glove and put into an evidence bag.
Justice has been served. The end. |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 03 Nov 2013 06:50 PM |
| ok so ithe story trying to be a story frget grammar mistakes i hate grammar by the way i just got bored |
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| 03 Nov 2013 06:51 PM |
>You hate grammar
We hate you |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 04 Nov 2013 02:24 AM |
You need more description, a better story, don't let it escalate so quickly and build up the story bit-by-bit. Common words such as "big", "then", "said" should not be used in writing. |
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reddanger
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| Joined: 27 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 38075 |
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| 04 Nov 2013 02:33 AM |
more description
i feel lost |
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me2avril
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| Joined: 10 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1494 |
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| 04 Nov 2013 04:16 AM |
| i wrote this in a hurry k? i wasn't trying to make it good |
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| 04 Nov 2013 10:19 AM |
| So either you're making excuses, or you're just a dumb scrub who put no effort into their story? |
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