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Re: I'm writing an essay on changing the driving age limit

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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 08:32 PM
I think teenagers at 16 years of age should be able to drive. There are a whole flock of views and opinions on this topic, but I believe there are only 3 central points to be made.
First of all, cars are improving in safety. Because of the advancements in technology, there have been safer cars rolling out of factories every day. One example of this so called “safer-car” is a car I saw on the internet. It used front and back view cameras to detect if the driver was about to drive into an object. This feature, will help ensure that all drivers, even drivers now, that there will be less accidents.
Secondly, some people think that teenagers the age of 16 aren’t mature enough or don’t have the responsibility. I think this is wrong. It all comes down to the individual. There should be a background check to diction if the person is fit to drive a car. The check would review the person’s school life if they had turned in work on time, never forgot anything at home, etc.
Finally, I think letting them drive at the age of 16 will relieve a lot of stress from the parent. For example, my cousin likes to play a lot of sports in high school. It would greatly relieve the stress off of his parents if they did not have the burden of driving him to and fro the high school.
In conclusion, I think that the requirement age of 16 is the most optimal age to have the ability to drive. It has much more advantages over disadvantages. Hopefully, by now you will have the same point of view.


Guys plz?


Any more examples/reasons I could add?
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EmpressHU is not online. EmpressHU
Joined: 01 Aug 2013
Total Posts: 7954
14 Oct 2013 08:33 PM
another reason;
cause #yolo
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SupahBoshi64 is not online. SupahBoshi64
Joined: 10 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 63997
14 Oct 2013 08:33 PM
Looks good to me.
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cruzymudwulf is not online. cruzymudwulf
Joined: 12 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 9862
14 Oct 2013 08:34 PM
you dont have a thesis statement
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 08:37 PM
@cruzy


I'll add that now.
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cruzymudwulf is not online. cruzymudwulf
Joined: 12 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 9862
14 Oct 2013 08:38 PM
what grade are you in
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 08:39 PM
8th

My sister in high school helped revise a bit.



And isn't the first sentence in my first paragraph basically it?
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mikeyman12ash is not online. mikeyman12ash
Joined: 14 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 28065
14 Oct 2013 08:40 PM
seems a little short
is there a word min or something or is it double-spaced or...?

"You see... I'm holy. Holey, Fred, get it?"
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 08:41 PM
@mikey

Nope.



As I said before, I think I need more reasons/examples. I'm having a brain fart currently.
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potjam is not online. potjam
Joined: 20 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 3291
14 Oct 2013 08:41 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 08:42 PM
@pot
I'm not sure since I haven't really thought about getting my driver's license (Not even 14 yet)


It was my topic and I had to write about it. :I
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cruzymudwulf is not online. cruzymudwulf
Joined: 12 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 9862
14 Oct 2013 08:42 PM
if you actually want to seem smart, dont use I anytime in the essay and just say something along the lines of "Teenagers at 16 years of age should be able to drive"

its a bad sentence to start off with and it wouldnt be your thesis because you dont have any reasons why you believe that statement

your introductory paragraph needs some work so think about adding some actual sentences about the context
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mikeyman12ash is not online. mikeyman12ash
Joined: 14 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 28065
14 Oct 2013 08:44 PM
can't help you much not very good at persuasive essays
or composition in general

"You see... I'm holy. Holey, Fred, get it?"
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Skellor is not online. Skellor
Joined: 01 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 66606
14 Oct 2013 08:44 PM
um

if you live in the US

teenagers CAN drive at 16
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MrDoomBringer is not online. MrDoomBringer
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Total Posts: 6176
14 Oct 2013 08:46 PM
I'll presume you don't live in the US, or live in a state with a restrictive driving age. Most states in the US will allow for a type of "learner's permit" class of license, which allows you to drive with a family member in the front passenger's seat. I think this works pretty well, it lets people learn driving with a mentor without being too restrictive.
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kitty234 is not online. kitty234
Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 9369
14 Oct 2013 08:48 PM
Diction isn't used correctly in there.
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 08:49 PM
@cruzy
Yeah, my sister told me to not use "I" a lot in argumentative writings.

@Skellor
Well it was my topic, and I had to write about it.

@mrdoombringer
Yeah, I've heard of that. But I'm not really writing to any officials (not that I know of).
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 08:50 PM
@kitty
I should probably look up what that means, my sister's vocab is much extensive then mine.
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kitty234 is not online. kitty234
Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 9369
14 Oct 2013 08:51 PM
Use dictate, not diction.
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icrazy789 is not online. icrazy789
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 8208
14 Oct 2013 08:53 PM
-cars are safer
No, not true.
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cruzymudwulf is not online. cruzymudwulf
Joined: 12 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 9862
14 Oct 2013 08:54 PM
your first point doesnt have enough reasoning behind it

instead of using the cameras as the sole example, just explain how all cars in the industry are improving in terms of safety
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icrazy789 is not online. icrazy789
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 8208
14 Oct 2013 08:56 PM
-people don't think 16 year old are mature enough
because the are not. I am 14 and I do some driving (yes it is illegal) with other teens. The older ones seem less mature than the younger ones.
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psychedelicous is not online. psychedelicous
Joined: 10 Sep 2013
Total Posts: 162
14 Oct 2013 08:58 PM
alrighty here we go
words you do NOT use:
get
got
you
your
you're
i
my
me
contractions in general (can't, couldn't, won't, etc.)

trust me about this i had to write an essay every thursday last year
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 09:49 PM
Here's my current draft: (Pastebin)

/GNMausx2
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deathman12e3 is not online. deathman12e3
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 7284
14 Oct 2013 09:51 PM
guys plz
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