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Re: Electric shock (NEW LYRICS)

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Agentdc14 is not online. Agentdc14
Joined: 18 May 2013
Total Posts: 253
25 Sep 2013 03:07 PM
(VERSE 1/T-ZERO)
I'm boss
I'm pure skill
I'm complete shocking
My raps own you
Step back and read these lyrics
Read carfully
Now shut up, step back
And enjoy the lyrics
'Cause they're an electric shock
Going through you
(CHORUS/T-ZERO)
Mmhm
Nothin' but electric
Electric SHOCK
15trillion volts boltin' through you
I'm electric
mmhm
Berzerk electric shock
Mmhm
Step back
OR FEEL MY SHOCKING ELECTRIC SHOCK
(VERSE 2/T-ZERO)
Take these lyrics
Make it your theme song
Take the credit
Be my pleasure
Just be my guest and feel my shocking skill
So please step back
And have the real legion stand up
AND MAKE SOME NOISE for that crowd
Be a soldier
And stand proud
Make them feel your electrifying knowledge
Now one last time
Feel my electric shock
(CHORUS/T-ZERO)
Mmhm
Nothin' but electric
Electric SHOCK
15trillion volts boltin' through you
I'm electric
mmhm
Berzerk electric shock
Mmhm
Step back
OR FEEL MY SHOCKING ELECTRIC SHOCK




This song is dedicated to Electro Legion and hopefully they'll use it as a little theme song. Thanks for reading my lyrics! Please let me know what to change to make my raps better. Thanks!
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
25 Sep 2013 03:08 PM
2.3/10
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violetcries is not online. violetcries
Joined: 27 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 6117
25 Sep 2013 03:08 PM
"I'm boss
I'm pure skill
I'm complete shocking
My raps own you"

no your not and no they dont.
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xpsm1530 is not online. xpsm1530
Joined: 01 May 2009
Total Posts: 22280
25 Sep 2013 03:09 PM
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS EVEN ABOUT?
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ducky980 is not online. ducky980
Joined: 01 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 9083
25 Sep 2013 03:10 PM
I just noticed none of it rhymed or matched
1.3/10
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Agentdc14 is not online. Agentdc14
Joined: 18 May 2013
Total Posts: 253
25 Sep 2013 03:13 PM
Ducky, I do not rhyme. There is no rule saying "RHYME OR YOU SUCK". So I suggest you get some knowledge on my type of music. Thanks.
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violetcries is not online. violetcries
Joined: 27 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 6117
25 Sep 2013 03:14 PM
well actually lyrics arent that good if they dont rhyme.
lyrics are supposed to have some sort of rhyme and flow to it, yours doesnt.
your basically just writing random sentences.
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xpsm1530 is not online. xpsm1530
Joined: 01 May 2009
Total Posts: 22280
25 Sep 2013 03:15 PM
"on my type of music."

WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK THIS IS MUSIC?

You just slapped together some poorly-made phrases and posted it on the Roblox forums.
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Agentdc14 is not online. Agentdc14
Joined: 18 May 2013
Total Posts: 253
25 Sep 2013 03:16 PM
Violet, you are just an annoying little hater that works my nerves. This is my kind of rap. If it bothers you, don't read it.
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violetcries is not online. violetcries
Joined: 27 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 6117
25 Sep 2013 03:18 PM
lol
1. "this is my kind of rap" you realise no one would ever listen (or read) this and like it.
2. its not music, it boring it has no music put to it and you dont actually rap it your just writing lyrics.

im not a "hater", im giving advice and if you dont want to listen to it thats fine by me.
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Agentdc14 is not online. Agentdc14
Joined: 18 May 2013
Total Posts: 253
25 Sep 2013 03:26 PM
Dude, just shut up and quit hating.
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Shadybrute is not online. Shadybrute
Joined: 02 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 1725
25 Sep 2013 05:44 PM
i'm sorry but just put some rhymes in

even if they're simple

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DwoTimensional is not online. DwoTimensional
Joined: 19 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 8064
25 Sep 2013 05:47 PM
66/6
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CookieCreator is not online. CookieCreator
Joined: 09 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 768
25 Sep 2013 06:21 PM
i'm laughing it's so bad
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civilizationfreak is not online. civilizationfreak
Joined: 11 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 7688
25 Sep 2013 06:22 PM
op is od!er!1
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StellaOwl is not online. StellaOwl
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 3387
25 Sep 2013 07:44 PM
i love how OP puts this on the forum TO GET CRITICISM (the only thing you could expect when posting it on MT), and then gets all poed at anyone who doesnt like his "music"
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MsDark is not online. MsDark
Joined: 04 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 49
25 Sep 2013 07:52 PM
I agree with what the other guys are saying mostly with the rhyming thing, but I feel the bigger problem you're having is writing the lyrics in general. Just remember not to force yourself into thinking of the lyrics without knowing what to sing to first.
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FrozenFury100 is not online. FrozenFury100
Joined: 05 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 1357
25 Sep 2013 07:54 PM
this is so terrible it's shocking

oooo
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