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| 10 Sep 2013 01:55 PM |
Chapter 1: Secure and Kill
The gun fire coming down the halls breaks the silence of the office building. Explosive shake the walls and yells can be heard from all directions. It is as if a battle just erupted out of thin air. Soon soldiers in black armor rush around the corner dodging shots behind them. “Dammit, they’re right behind us!” One of the soldiers yelled. The soldiers had with them a man in a suit. His attire made it clear he was not prepared for this kind of action.
The soldiers race down the hall with the man held close beside them. They held him as if they’re prepared to die for him. The soldiers continue to dodge left and right avoiding shots coming from behind them as they continue down the hallway. Shots blast concrete from pillars and shook the lights from the ceiling as unknown soldiers try hard to stop them.
The soldiers in black make their way to a door at the end of the hallway. Once of them tried to kick it open but to no use. “Guys we need to hurry they’re right on our tail!” One of the soldiers pointed out. The soldier holding the man close to them sets him down to the side behind a potted plant. “Alright Frost, see if you can hack that door open. The rest of us will hold these guys back.” Frost was one of the soldiers in black. He was much smaller and shorter than the other soldiers. His load out shows he was not meant for pure combat but a support role.
Frost takes out his holo tool and plugs it into the door. The holo tool lights up and Frost begins to hack into the door. The soldiers kick over the couches and takes cover behind them. They look down the rail of their guns ready for whatever makes it’s way around the corner. The soldiers were calm and ready as they placed their fingers on the trigger. “Alright, let us show these guys why Shock Troopers are the Elites of the galaxy.” Soon soldiers rush around the corner and the Shock troopers opened fire. They were efficient and shot in burst. They had deadly accuracy and aimed to kill, forcing the soldiers to take cover behind the walls.
“Frost you almost get that door open, they’re starting to move up on our position!?” Frost swipes his finger quickly as he continues to hack into the door. “I’m trying but they must have someone on the other side trying to lock me out.” After a few moments of fighting the door flies open. Relieved the shock troopers pick the man up and rush him through the door as the soldiers behind them continue to move down the hallway.
“Ivory, where did Hicom say the LZ would be?” Ivory looks down at her holo tool. “The LZ is right around the corner Helipad number 42” Ivory was the only female of the squad. She was a recon and carried an SUF and SKP with her. She had deadly accuracy and could shoot a target 12 miles away without computerized scope. She wore an experimental skin tight suit which bends light rays to allow her to become invisible.
The shock troopers could see their drop ship out the window. The drop ship had a slim metallic look to it. The pilots were already to take off. The engines begin to rubble as the drop ship lifts off the ground. Dust kicks away from the drop ship as the engines grow louder and louder. The drop ship turns around and blast off leaving the shock troopers behind.
“What the hell, are they leaving us!?” The shock troopers run through the door to the helipad and stop as they can see the drop ship disappear in the distance. The cityscape surrounded the building and sunlight flashed off the angles of the buildings. “So our drop ship left us to die. Sounds like Hicom are doing a good job helping us on this mission.” Ivory sarcastically said. “Hey Ghost, any idea on what we’re going to do? I’m pretty sure we did not lose them when we ran around that corner.”
Ghost was the leader of the squad and respected by most shock troopers for his quick thinking and amazing battle tactics. He had a skull painted on the face of his helmet which distinguished him from the rest of the shock troopers. He never talked much but his squad always knew what he wanted to be done. Ghost glances at his Holo tool and calls Hicom. “Hicom this is Squad leader Ghost, where did our Dropship over at the LZ just got up and left us here with the VIP.” A short silence as Ghost waited for Hicom to respond.
“Do you think Hicom forgot about us?” Ivory asked. “Of course not, Lucario just likes to make our missions harder when we make it too easy.” Frost smirks. Ghost walks over to the VIP they were escorting through the office building. “Listen, do you know if there is any other way to get down to the lobby floor from this location?” Ghost asked. The VIP struggled to speak as he held his side. “Prime Minster, are you shot or something?” Ivory asked. The prime minster nods “Yes” as he continues to hold his side tightly. Blood could bee seen seeping through his fingers dripping to the ground.
“We have to get this man medical attention fast.” Soldiers could be seen closing in on the helipad through the windows. The shock troopers get up and move the prime minster to the edge of the helipad behind some cargo load. “So what are we suppose to hide our something?” Frost asked. Ghost looks over at Delta. “Delta, think you can set a few charges quick enough while the rest of us latch onto the building side?” Ghost asked.
Delta was the demolition specialist of the squad. He was big and muscular resembling a brick wall. A first time appearance with him and you would think he was a hardcore soldier instead of was a pacifist and dislike killing other living things. He carried a L95 Light machine gun and a T11 shotgun. “Listen Delta, I know you dislike killing but if you don’t do this we’re going to die.” Ivory warned. Delta takes a deep breath and takes out a few C14 charges. He throws them in key places along the helipad and rushes back behind the safety of the cargo.
“Ivory grabs the prime minister and hold him close to her. “Hold on tight understood?!” The prime minster nodded. The shock troopers begin to run off the building as the enemy soldiers finally break through the door. The soldiers quickly opened fire on Delta who was waiting for the enemy soldiers to get close enough. Delta takes out a cross and holds it to his chest. “Thy lord in heaven, forgive me for I have taken the life of which you have given.” The enemy soldiers continue their way towards Delta. Delta puts his thumb on the detonator waiting patiently for them to get close enough. Right as an enemy soldier steps onto one of the C14 Delta presses the button and explosions riddle the helipad through enemy soldiers right and left. Delta gets up and jumps off the helipad and it begins to break apart.
“Ghost, 2 minutes before we hit the ground and go splat!” Frost yelled. Ivory looks up to the crumbling debris of the helipad falling down behind them. “Ghost, I think delta used a little to much C14 then you would liked.” Ivory yelled. Enemy soldiers scream as the fall passed the shock troopers. Frost cringes as splats can be heard as the enemy soldiers hit the ground. “Ghost if we don’t do something quick we’re going to end up like those poor asses.”
Delta who was falling behind the rest of the squad finally manages to catch up. The squad looks at Ghost waiting for him to give an order. “Alright squad, deploy your wing suits and glide towards the building below us. The squad nodded and they deploy their wing suits. The suits were made up of micro nano fibers that were infused with electrical energy; this allowed shock troopers to glide farther and faster than most others.
The shock troopers glided around buildings at great speed. Fire could be seen in the distance from Delta’s C14 explosion. Smoke filled the air making it hard for the Shock troopers to see. Flying through the smoke the Shock troopers could see the sun hiding behind the tall buildings. The light from the sun bounces off the building causing a glowing effect. “I guess this is why they call this “The shiny city”.”
The shock troopers finally landed on the building below. “Frost and Delta, secure that elevator. Ivory is the prime minister alright.” Ivory sets the prime minister on the ground. “He is not looking so good. We need to get him medical attention or he is going to die.” Ghost sets his W17 down on the ground and walks over to Delta. “Delta you have basic medical training right? I need you to see if you can help the prime minister.” Delta nods as Ghost and walks over to help the prime minister.
“Hey ghost, I’ve noticed something odd about the soldier we’ve been fighting. They use the same tactics used in the WIJ academy. The way they act, fight and move reminds me a lot of WIJ.” Frost pointed out. Ghost turns towards Frost. “This mission was supposed to be a simple capture and secure the VIP mission. Instead we got soldiers fighting like WIJ shooting at us, Hicom not responding to our radio calls and a drop ship that just up and left us. I think something weird is going on.” Frost takes out his Holotool and begins to radio Hicom. “Hicom, this is Sergeant Frost, reply if you can hear me.” A moment passes and no reply from Hicom.
“GHOST, FROST COME HERE!” Ivory yelled. Ghost and Frost rushes over to Ivory and Delta. “What is the problem?” Ghost asked. “The prime minister is dead sir.” Ghost did not say a word. He looks down to see something in the prime ministers hand. Ghost grabs it and takes a closer look at it. The object was a Holo pad with information on the screen. Ghost continues to look through the holopad for more information. Soon he finds a bunch of Logs. “Guys check this out. It looks like the prime minister was keeping logs.” “Play them; it might give us an idea about what’s going on.” Ivory suggested. Ghost swiped his finger across the screen to play the Log. “Day 17, my name is Ivan Resin. I am Prime Minister for The Grand Imperium. I have stumbled upon secret Intel from TGI agents about WIJ planning on betraying and attacking TGI. Our alliance with WIJ is strong and it was hard to believe when TGI agents first brought this up.” The transmission abruptly ends and the Shock Troopers looked confused.
Ghost looks over at his squad. “Damn, it appears TGI knows of our plans to declare war on them. I guess that is why WIJ Hicom wanted us to capture the Prime Minister.” Ivory takes the Holopad and puts in into her purse. “Why Hicom want us to capture the Prime minister, why not just have us killed him?” Ivory questioned. “Hicom might want to know everything he knows before they throw him in the dumpster. I guess this also explains why Hicom is ignoring us. TGI must be scanning our radio transmissions.” Ghost explained. “Ivory left me see that Holopad one more time. It might have more information about this whole situation.” Ivory takes out the holopad and hands it back over to Ghost.
Ghost swipes his finger to play the next log. “Day 21, I have gotten word that TGI has been infiltrated by WIJ agents. These agents are said to be High ranks even some closed to the overlord himself. The overlord is not aware of this an all attempts to talk to him have been futile. I fear WIJ is keeping our overlord in the dark about this. Its crazy I can’t even trust my body guards because some of them are WIJ agents.” The log ends and Ghost sits it on the ground. Ghost fires a few shots destroying the holopad.
Ghost could hear radio chatter coming from his Communicator. Ghost brings it closer to his ear to listen. “Shock Trooper Squad 7, this is Hicom is everything alright down there?” Ghost was relieved to hear Hicom. “Yes Hicom we’re alright down here. Our mission to secure the TGI prime minister failed. He died from the wounds he suffered.” “That is alright Ghost; sorry we could not communicate with you. It was suppose to be a simple mission but TGI saw you and know you’re WIJ soldiers. They’re asking a lot of questions.” Ghost walks over to the edge of the building looking over the safety rail. “Sorry, things got a little crazy. TGI is not known for asking questions first.”
“Brigadier Lucario was able to make up a story saying you guys were terrorist and WIJ has nothing to do with this attack. Anyways, we’re giving you coordinates to an LZ located a few clicks from your current location. You might want to hurry because TGI has soldiers looking for you guys.” “Understood Hicom, we’ll quickly make our way there.” Ghost sets his communicator down and looks over in the distance. Ghost could see FireFighters trying to put out the fire from the explosion and Police trying to control the crowed of news agencies and bystanders.
“Ghost we need to hurry, TGI will be closing on our position soon. We can afford to wait around.” Ivory said. Ivory grabs her SUF and walks towards the elevator with Frost and Delta. Ghost picks up his W17 and walks towards his squad. “Alright guys TGI will be all over the place, Hicom said there was an LZ a few clicks from our location. Remember to conceal yourself. We don’t want to be traced back to WIJ understood?” The squad nodded “Yes” as ghost opened the elevator door.
End of Chapter 1:
Q/A
Q: Who are these people? A: Made up characters.
Q: Why is WIJ planning on attacking TGI A: This will be explained in a later chapter
Q: Will I be added to your story? A: If you’re a WIJ Officer+ yes if not then no
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antick
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| Joined: 09 Jul 2013 |
| Total Posts: 164 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 01:56 PM |
| what happenned to hivecore |
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| 10 Sep 2013 01:57 PM |
| Umm this is great and all, but where's hivecore or your newest group? |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:05 PM |
you should add me in.
[://FBI's most wanted; El Mexicano//CLANS//CHIEF_CADET] |
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dizzdazz4
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| Joined: 01 Dec 2008 |
| Total Posts: 957 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:05 PM |
Really enjoyed reading it. Had everything you need when the book keeps bringing you back to read it again.
Maybe you could include dizzdazz4 in your story huh? Since you know... he has a past and all :).
Good work K. "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you are always right". |
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Zealots
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| Joined: 28 Apr 2011 |
| Total Posts: 14002 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:05 PM |
"Crusaders"
Hmm.... Doesn't seem to fit WIJ's theme :o
~Grand Master (14,022+ posts) "You are no more of a king than the boil on my butt" [08'er]
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:14 PM |
Dizz, I thought you were dead.
Also thanks for the replies. |
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mike1291
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| Joined: 13 Feb 2008 |
| Total Posts: 4631 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:16 PM |
| hivecore is dead you idiots |
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JG13579
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| Joined: 30 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 4622 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:17 PM |
I might print off and read.
██◾ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 웃 |
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vvank
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| Joined: 05 Aug 2013 |
| Total Posts: 358 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:21 PM |
Nice story.
This is my siggy; nailed it |
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vvank
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| Joined: 05 Aug 2013 |
| Total Posts: 358 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:26 PM |
No I don't want a TGIvWIJ war I'm in both on my main. =(
This is my siggy; nailed it |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:29 PM |
| I can't wait for chapter 2 this is the best story i've seen on ROBLOX. |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 02:31 PM |
Decent, decent (I forgot I started a new story here... Main character was named Frost. This reminded me.)
Some small notes, to an otherwise... Actually presentable work.
- You have the occasional punctuation error, particularly when it comes to quotation marks.
- Avoid repeating the same words over and over, expand your vocabulary. "The soldiers" was said so many times.
- One speaker per paragraph, then start a new one.
- Increase the detail and immersion slightly.
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cashpop
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| Joined: 11 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2984 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 03:30 PM |
So the flow of the story is fine.
Just like what Inysa said, you gotta work on your grammar and punctuation. You often miss a few needed commas and quotation marks.
for example: "as the enemy soldiers finally break through the door" should have been 'broke' not 'break'
also expand your vocabulary when you refer to something in the story.
everytime you say "The soldiers" it could mean the shock troopers or the enemy following them. It's best to use different terms now and then.
you gotta work on the tenses. Past and present.
It's best to do a story on Word or any other word processing program where you can type on, and then use the grammar check thing to help out. Also to revise if needed.
one speaker per paragraph is needed and always recommended.
The story itself is fine and dandy. It gets the message across clear enough to understand what's going on.
so lets see how the rest of the story goes. |
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cashpop
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| Joined: 11 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2984 |
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| 10 Sep 2013 03:33 PM |
Also be a bit more clear when describing some things,
" His load out shows he was not meant for pure combat but a support role."
you should describe how his loadout is more of a support, because many of us know what the typical ST uniform looks like so how is his loadout a support role?
Describe the characters a bit more in detail if possible. |
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| 10 Sep 2013 06:57 PM |
| Alright I'll be sure to work on grammar and expanding my vocabulary. |
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| 10 Sep 2013 06:59 PM |
| OMG UR BRINGING BACK TEH BOOKS |
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agent14cp
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| Joined: 19 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 219 |
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