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| 24 Aug 2013 02:17 AM |
"Hello sir!" the voice rang out cheerfully. The Redcliff Commander turned to see one of the young newly accepted Knights waving to him. He sighed inwardly. He had hoped to get to his quarters without being seen, but it turned out that would not be the case.
"What is it, Knot?" he asked wearily. The young Knight stopped in front of him, breathing heavily. "I heard your group was ambushed while checking out the borders! I thought I'd come see if everyone was alright."
The Commander smiled beneath his helmet, reached out and ruffled the young Knight's hair. Although clumsy and new, he had a lot of heart and was loyal. That was all they could ask for.
"Why not go check on the others? Offer them your assistance, they're all tired and could use the help." the young Knight saluted with his spear, and ran off, tripping over a rock and falling flat. The Commander chuckled to himself before walking off before anyone else could intercept him.
Once he reached his room, the Commander closed the door, then removed his helmet and looked into the mirror he had. Fresh scars ran across his face, making it look like his head had been jammed into an iron maiden. His hair was matted with blood, and turned from a dirty blond to a blackish-red colour.
His eyes, which had once been a deep blue were now yellow, with blood filling the whites behind the irises. He had deep gouges on his temple, and there was a deep slash across his nose and going from both sides of his face.
The Redcliff Commander gazed at his disfigured face, at what he now looked like. If anyone saw him like this, they'd have nightmares for weeks. Thus there was only one thing to do. He grabbed the bandages that he kept in his desk and began to unwrap them.
He stopped briefly and took one last long look at his face, and smiled. The effect was extremely unsettling, and he found himself enjoying how it looked. Then he went to work, hiding his face behind the bandages, allowing only a sliver of eye space so he could see out, but no one could see in.
Once he was done, he reached behind his head and pulled up the hood that all Commanders had inside their armor, and lifted over his face. Satisfied with how he now looked, the Commander picked up his helmet and set it on its stand. There would be no more need of it.
He looked back at himself one last time in the mirror, at what he had now become. "...The Knights of the Seventh Sanctum..." his voice rasped out. It no longer sounded like the voice of a proud Commander. Instead it sounded inhuman, empty.
For it was not just his face that had changed. The attack had changed him as well. Underneath the bandages, he gave a feral grin, and relished the pain it brought him. The Knights of the Seventh Sanctum cared only for the order and balance of the world, not for what was good or evil.
Therefore they wouldn't care if most of their number was reduced, killed by a man whose mind was now twisted.
The Commander left his room, and began to make preparations. Oh yes, he would find out if they cared after he dealt with them. |
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| 24 Aug 2013 02:40 AM |
Nice story, sire! (Wait a minute... "Knot"? Me?)
POST SUCCESSFUL! +1 in post count! |
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| 24 Aug 2013 02:47 AM |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2c32SvJf54
-Common Sense: Use it. |
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| 24 Aug 2013 03:51 AM |
| I wish ROBLOX would have some kind of a bandage mask thingy that isn't mummy related. |
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Rycerze
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| Joined: 08 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 49 |
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| 24 Aug 2013 08:07 AM |
Exemplary performance of a fine piece of literature. It managed to grab my attention and hold it. I like how it starts out with a nice balance of humor and seriousness then takes a turn for a more dark and serious pace. The characters each had their own feeling with a sense of personality and their own story instead of just unoriginal slapped together characters. The main character's description showing that he holds a backstory and is actually fleshed out instead of hollowed.
Truly a well done piece of literature. Good work. |
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| 24 Aug 2013 10:05 AM |
| Great work Hippie. Can't wait to check out another one. |
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benzo2
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| Joined: 02 Jun 2008 |
| Total Posts: 18020 |
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| 24 Aug 2013 01:36 PM |
| Quite an enjoyable read. I really like the tone of it; it makes me think of it as being an epic poem, something like Beowulf. Dunno why, though. |
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| 24 Aug 2013 06:17 PM |
@ElysiumThoughts: Yes, and no. Yes as in it features some members from Knights of Redcliff, and the group is the official Redcliff group mentioned in the blog, and no because I wrote it because I changed my hat combo.
Makes no sense, I know.
-Common Sense: Use it. |
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Lego244
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| Joined: 17 Dec 2008 |
| Total Posts: 28 |
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| 09 Oct 2013 03:33 PM |
| Something awesome indeed, this way come... |
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caleb1629
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| Joined: 21 Oct 2012 |
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timpookie
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| Joined: 18 Aug 2011 |
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| 23 Oct 2013 06:53 AM |
Excellent story! I do hope that it will have more to it.
True fact: Humans are 50% bannana and 50% chair |
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maxjelly
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| Joined: 18 May 2013 |
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| 10 Nov 2013 09:27 AM |
| @turo Yeah, like the Burned Man's mask in Fallout New Vegas: Honest Hearts |
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| 10 Nov 2013 10:03 PM |
| I have to admit, this story was wonderful, reminded me of myself when I first joined The Knights of the Redcliff. |
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| 10 Nov 2013 11:33 PM |
A sequel is born: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=117629494
-Common Sense: Use it. |
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radzach97
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| Joined: 23 Oct 2010 |
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| 01 Dec 2013 05:11 PM |
| Great story. Sounds like a good beginning of a great story. |
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5ec
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| Joined: 26 Aug 2013 |
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