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| 15 Aug 2013 02:35 PM |
E͓͎͂Y̻͈̗̪ͫ̉͐̓̃̀ͅE̟͕̬̱̠̹̼͗̉͂ͦ̏S̯̦̣͚̤̙ͨ̂̄̀̐ͯ̿͘ RULES: No turning back now. Keep reading please. Turn all of the lights OFF Until the story is finished. And hey, if you feel this is creepypasta worthy, put it on the creepypasta website and/or put this on YouTube, a read-aloud! Just dont mention this part of the story. I have no responsibility for any headache, nightmare, or dream that comes up in your mind. Turn your volume up and listen to this while reading. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U668HpGctAw ̰͈͖̬̺͉̇̔That is all. Please have fun, enjoy the story, and once again, no turning back after this point. Be a fair sport.
"Oh god.." I gasped, waking up. It was midnight. "Ever since I watched that movie, I've been having nightmares." I stumble out of bed for a glass of water. Then I stop. I think for a second. (Is this really a good idea? Should I be doing this?) I shake my head and go for the bedroom door again. Its locked? I shake the doorknob. It's locked. Looks like Im going for the glass of water. I hear a crash of glass as I flip on the kitchen light. "The H̳͚̘͕͈̰̻̖̯̠͉͓ͤ̈̓̃ͨ̾̚e̬̣̜̟̹͕̟ͤ͂́̀̌͌̋̚l̝͈͈̦̪ͤͥ͂L̹̭̤͓̬̘̻̦̘͙͉̙̹̲͚̗̩̰͊̍̓̂̍ͧ?̞̮͍͇̜̼̟̪̙̠̺ͫͥͭ̅̀͋̓̌ͭ̊ͤ͋ͬ͆̚ͅ!" Shocked, I quickly pour myself a cup of water. Another glass crash. I stumbled, the lights flickered, and then it was happening. I began to feel disoriented. The water was now red. I could hear screams coming from the neighbors and then, I could hear a scream coming from outside my door. Red seeped inside, lights flickering, s͚̞̥̜͚̼̺̜̤̺̙͙̘̪̝͕̖͙ͦ͋ͨ̓o̹̣̪̥͙͖̰͎̲ͪ̆̔̐ͫͨͦ̊u̖̗̦̣̱̲̞͕̮̼͚̫͈͕͓̔͊̉ͦ̓̾ͦls sho̱͖͚̗̫̬̳̬͇̲̳̥ͥ̌ͭ̉̏̀ͤ̑̐̐̑̓̈́ͫ̃ǔ̼̟̫̠̩̱̭̥̼͖͙̱̜̻͔̫͙ͦͨͧ̑ͪ̈̽ͪt̳͇͖̰͉̳̹̗͖͙̮͈̬͕̪̤̥̙̣̐̃͒̆̐͐̈́̍͊̔̑͋̆̏̄ͣ̓̾͋i͕̳̜͎̺̘̫̯͖͕̲̟̼̦̥͂̉̽̆̽̋̌̂̆ͥͣ͑̚̚n̹̗͖̬̣̜̙̺̈́͋̇ͨ͌̔̀ͪ̽͌̓̂g̱̥͖̯͈̻̥̟̯̮̦̬̱̓̌͒̊̑̐̎ͤ͗, I yelled for help. What was happening to me?! A face flickered infront of me as the lights turned off. I got up and ran for the door. It was locked - from the outside?! I jumped through the crashed window and ran. I could hear police cars coming down the street. I looked back at my house. It was now a pile of dead bodies..mumbling. "I̥̹̭̜͖̰̱̤͖͎̙͍͕̰̎̐ͫͫ̇̓͊ͮ̇̄̽̅͌ͪ͛̆ͨ̊̚ ͍̬̣͎̘͇͕̘̺̲̼̟͔̝͓͍̹̂̄ͬͪ̈̄ͩ͐ͦͧ̾͊̾̍͊̏ͮ̑ẅ̰͔̝͉̠͎̹͈̯̤̮̥̳́͊̆̄͌ͥͪͅͅa͓̱̰͎͙̯̬̟̞̰̼̰̼̻͇͓̻͒ͫ̆͗ͥ͂̚n͚͔̝̯͖̮̟ͬͯͥ̌̇ͦ̄ͧͩͤt͇̗̺̯̪̜̰̹͉̭͇͕͙̼͑͗̓̾͑ ͖̙̤͈̞̠̗̱̪̝̩͍̂̽̏̐͗ͯ͛͋͊͐̉̍ͫͨ̂̒̚ͅͅy̹̮̻͇̻͇̗͖̰̤̗̺̰̭̪̙̑́͊͋o͈̜̯͉͙̣͖̰̳̥̪̰̻͎͚̜̓̃̂̒̃̿̏ͣͮͬ͒ͦͅu̗̦̦̯̰̗̤͖̣̫͎̻̓̿̊ͩ̏͊r̮̥͍͓̖̻̘̘͉͕͙̘̣͎̪̻̽̉͆̋̽̋̓ͦ̓̒͌ͤ́ͅ ͙̞̲̻͇̠̦͈͇͎̳̭͚̱͉̩̍͛̆̈ͤ̔ṡ̱͙̺̺̗̻̩̹͍͇̣̥̹̃͌͗ͫͦ͛ͅỏ̯͚̖̝͉̩̟̪ͧ̋̌̋͌͗ͦ̔ͨͧͣ̾u̝̺̱̲̠̹͎̞̯͎̺̮̭̰̯̅͒̽ͣ̄ͦͭͩ̍ͦ̀̃̍̎̚l̟̦̳̟͚̂͆̏ͬ͒̎ͅ.." "Don't leave..come back!" One said as It got up and walked towards me as I got more tired. It started to move quickly. "Don't you like it here?" it said as I began to pick up the pace. "N̞̩͙̠͕͖̽̄͌͆̅̅̈͗̆o̼̱ͫ̿̉̅̈́̏-̣͈̫͉̫͙̤̔̔͛ͧ̓̉ ̞̗̘̭̭̤͖̼̗̈͑ͦC̳̮͚̳̞̘̓͐̄ͨ̌ͬ̈̿o͇̫̮̩̮͎͖̘ͣ͆̂ͅm̘̬̌ͨ͛̐e͈͓̜̮̠̿̔͒̐̑ ̩̻̘̫̙͕̺͗ͮ̉̅͊ͪ̔b̟͎̥̮̹̒́ͯ̋ͅa͔̹̱͎̪̹͍̍ͤ͊͌͌̾ͭͬͪc̲̥̜̅͊͋̓̐͌̒k͎̦͊͊͂̽͐!̣͊̑ͨͬ̂̑! Im sorry, come back!" It said as I began to run away. "Can't we be friends?" I sprinted for my life, the faces of the dead bodies everywhere as I ran around the corner out into the streets. All of the cars have crashed, horns blaring, everything falling down. "I̞̥͖̺͇̦͈͖̞̺̘̾̌̎͌̐ͪͣ̂̆ͬͭ ̺͎̭̥͐ͮͧͨ̇̄ẗ͔̮̩̫͓̤̣̗̖͈̺͕̭̙̹ͨ̆̊̚o̟͕͇̳͓̹̩̟̜̪͕̠ͦ̑́ͣ̎̒̃ͤͯ̊̎ͤ̚ͅͅl̤̞̹̩̩̯͇̯̺͔̯̥̲̗͎ͪ̎̑ͧͪḓ͙̤̻̰̟̖̯̻̰̼̤̠͓̞̳͊͗̏̑̒͌̾͌̐ ̼̖͉͔̝̹̼ͮͬ̔ͥ̋̽̋̌̐͗̏ͦ̋͗͊͗͋̓̚y̫͎̩̫̙̲̩͇̩̺͕̱̘̤̳̣̭̎͌͋ͧ̆̀o͔̩̪͙̣͈͉͓̰̳͔̯̬̟̺̱͙̾ͯͩ͂ͫ͐̋͋̚u̹̠̞̞͚̼̲͎͍̻̩̺͚̦̖͉͎ͩ͑ͤ͒̈́͌͑ͬͩͨ̐ͤ-̥̬͇̮̣̜̪̘̰̝̹̼͔̠̳̭̋̆ͦͨ͛̏̿ͅ ̼͖͍̺̣̜̹̜̦̼̠̣͖́͂̓̽ͬ̈́ͩ͒̓̍͋̇ͬ̑̉ͬc͙̙̗̥̥̤̼̻̱͉̠̬͇̣̿̆ͬ̑̒ͫͯ̾͐͌ͪ̓ͩͨͮ̾ͅͅo͍̗̞͍̺̭͖͈͙͌ͧ͊͑̉͊̈̍̿̚̚m̗̞̪͙̓͛̅̔̌ͦ̄ͫͫ͛̊ͅe͖̝͈͖͎̺̖̝̳̾ͮ̆̓̌̈ͩ̅̊ͨ̐̇ͫͩͅ ̣̙͔̠̿̊ͪ͑ͬͪ̽̃͑ͪ̃̈́͗̋́̿͑ͨ́b̞̠̘̞̬̝̤͖̹̜̤͍̬̞̈͐̿͆͋̀ͥ̾̓ͯͩ͑̓a͔̙̹̭͕̤̞̤̥̖ͩ͒̇͐̇̍͑̀̓͗ͣ̊̌͒̀̀ͯ͊͋c͚̙͉͈̳̈́ͦ͗̒̃̔k̦͕̗̥̯̻̓̽̉̽͐ͩ! It's better here than there!" The voice said. My vision was becoming blurry..I could see red dripping down my forehead. "Come baack!" The voice said, as I heard some faint crying. "Pleaase! We'll protect you! We'll take care of you! You'll be one of ours! Don't you want a family?" I stopped. I reheard the phrase. "Dont you want a family?" I shed a tear. My family abandoned me. I was trying to think of a choice..what should I do? "You'll never be left alone again!" the voice said, approaching. My forehead was having blood loss. I could no lo̹̖̰̼̤̳n̖g̲͈̝̹͎̗̪e̷̫̹̥r̳̩̹̞ ̮̤͚̝t̶̩̗h̻̟̤̟̭̜in͈̖͈̕k̭̪̮̩̙. I̹ͭͭͧ͒ͬͤ͑͘ ̓ͤ̃s̔ͪṯ̦͍ͤ̋̾ͨ̂aͦ̿̀̈̀ͩ̿͏r͍̲̿ͭ͂ͯ̿̽́ț̺̥ͧ͗ͪ̃̈́̅e̲̝̩̳̭̎̉̌d̛̗̹͔̪͔̭͗ͧ̒ͫ ̡̦͖͎͕̻͍̂͛́̑͌ͥs̠̩͇̖̖̽͒̓͞c͔̭̩̬̹r̛̗̭̞̱e̎̈́ͧ͊͐̌ͭ̀aͥ̃͆̐̑̀m̓̇̂͆̇̋͐i̪̹̫̲̺͓ń̫̖̪̠̮̓ͤ̽̏g̷̞̬̫ͅ "He̵̴̵̛̫̝̹̦̳͚͉̫ͮ̓̐̇͊̐͆̋͜l̲͔̣̻͙̗͇̪̟̗͚͆͂̿͂͒ͣ̅͗̃̾͞͞ͅp̪̳̜̦̖̠̗̬̼̞̫͊̉ͮ̔̀͜͝!͖̞͕̹̝̹̇̈̊̓ͩͧ͒͢" M̧̥͚̯̩̹͕͈̙̊͛̋̀̎̽̌̽̾̑̊͐̎̔͊̐ͭ̓́͜͢y̡̙̙̞̞̱͎̯̖̖̣̮̙͌ͤ̌ͩ̇̇͑ ̶̷̡̟̯̤̲̥̦̩͍͋́ͥ̃͒ͯ͗͐̑ͨ͝͝v̶͓̳̗͓̍͋̊ͬ̓ͭì͗ͧ̽ͥ̉͏̭̟͚͚̩̗͍̦̲͜ș̸̨̡̨͍̗̰̝͌̇ͦ́̚͝ͅi̟̘͎͓̬͕ͩ͑̂̎̀͝ͅo̷̴̡̖̞̗̗̠̖̤͔͎͔̎ͮ́ͧ͐͋͛͂͝ņ̵̪͕̼͕̗̠̱̌͑̎ͨ͐̊ͫͩ̈͊ͯ̔͂̎̋ ̡̛̦̘̬͕͓̝̩̖͔̍ͮ͛͂ŵ̸̷͐ͭͯ͋͏̴̷͔͙̬͎̻͙̺̙̖̯a̷͛̎̊͂҉̶̹̪̻̹͍͕̼̼̗̱̳̞̹͓͍̗̮̝͢͡s̴̫͙͚̗̭̞͎͕͚̰̰̝ͩͨͧ̃ͨͯ͊ͮͧ̂̿̽͛ͬ̄ͬ͐̌͠ ̧̤͉̤͖̥͙̳̺̝̜̠͉͗̓̿̈́͛͛́ͩ̆ͬͫ̎̌̽̋̔ͩ͢ĝ̴̶̡̦̮̻̙̱̔͌̋̿ͭ̇ͩ̐ͯ̆̓ͥ͝͡oͥ͂̅̆̿͛ͯ̒̍͐̄̚҉̸̧̬͈͚̩̘͈̞̹̟̦̲̘̻̬ͅi͖̲̗̣̩̽ͫ́͊̅ͣ͆̃ͩ͗̓͟͡n͛̍͋̀ͨ́̾̎ͬ̽ͩ̂ͯ̎ͣ̏̚҉̗͕̝̺͉̗̤͚͍̜͉͇̥g̵̨̟̼͚͙̼͇̻̮̪̐̂̈̋̍̑͂̋ͥ̏̎̾͝ ̷̛̌̔̓̆̓ͨ́̏̃̅ͥ̊̂̇ͮ̉ͧ̚҉̸̯̻̱̹͉̥̗͙̥̝̳r̷̵̡̤̰̮̙̠͔̳̙̺̩͎̞͈̹͙͎̻̱ͣ̆̂̿̂̈͋͆͌ͨ̀̾ͮ̈̑̈́͢ͅE̶͈̬̟̖̲̺̳̺͙̗̩̟̫̰͖͕̠̐̋ͥͫ͝ͅd̶͔̳͇̞̩̥̼̩̦̽ͦͧ̒ͮ́͜. "G̨ͨͯ̄ͨ́ͭͬ͋ͥ̂ͤ̂̄̃̐̈́̑̚͏̸̟̞͕̩̝̬̱̦͚̠͙̘͕̼̳̭̭͢Ǎ̷̀ͭ̽͗̿̉͒̅͊ͯͯ́̏͛ͭͤ̚͝҉̪̦̲̤͇͕̟̱͚ăͧͤ͛̎̚͏̞͍̩͖͉̟͈͓̤̙̼͔̯̙̯̭͇aͯ͛̌ͦ͆̋̊̓ͥ̓̎͆ͣ̉̏͒̿̽ͩ́͏̴̨̲̹͈̹͟h̸̡̰̼̪̻̦̙̖̟͈͓̖̳͈͖̳͈̘̬̓̑͗̔͡ͅH̵̴̨̲̦̫̰̤ͥ̓͐̄ͪ̆̋͌̍̐ͮ̅̃̓ͨ̈̀!" I awoke. I could not see. in fact, I didn't know if I was asleep or n̨̈́ͩ͛ͥ̾̉͏͙̟̬̜O̢̨̅͛̓ͨͥ̍̚͏͓̮̳͔̙̠̜̟͔͍̺͎̰̝t̽͋̋ͭ̓̌ͮͧ͋̈ͣͮ͏̡̛̱̫̣̥̗̫͍̭͚̱͔̯̱̖̝̬̝̻͟. Å̡̱̩͉̙̥̟͔̫͆̆̿̓̔̑͒ͤ͘l̴͌̌̅̈́ͦͧ͊̓͋̏͌͌͊́͏̵͙͓͎̝̮͈̺̝̣̻̰̱̞̙̲͟͠l̸̛͉̰̟̥̫̥̰̾̾ͪ͗͂̀̀̚ ̽̅̄̆̊̈͑̈̀͏̡̼̝͉͉͉͍̻̳̦̝̤̮͖̥͘͟ͅI̅ͣ̀ͥͣͨ̎ͤͪ͆ͫ̅ͥ͑ͨͮ̚̕҉̸̧̗̖̺̱͡ ͖̗͉̳͕̠̪̭̗̃͋̒͗̆̇̈͋͒̇̍̈̔̿̇ͫͫ̀c̛̰̫͚̻͍̩̻̠̦̘̩͓̮̳̳̤͔̔̎ͪͥ͑́̾͑ͣ̇̀̕o̯̻̦͈̣̖͇̗̭͂̊͑̋̄̈́͞͡͡u̓ͧ͐̋ͦ̇̐̂̏͂̒͋̆͛̃͌ͩ͐͝҉̶̨͔͙̺̰̻̩̥͕̫͕̤̜͜ľ̷̢͔̤̪̳͈̩̻̯͕ͮͫ̄͂ͪͣͬ͢͠͠d̨͖̼͎̙̫͎̙̥͓̦̤̹͕͊͆͑̓͗͌̍̓̇̑͛͋ͣ͑͢͢͝ͅ ̍̽ͨ̀͆̑̂̔̿̎͐̈҉̨̺̲̬̜̣̫̯̤̣̫̥̠̻̀̀h̨̜̪̭̪̘͙̼̭̼̮̗̻̖̒̃̊ͧ̉͊ͪ̅ͬͩ̅́͘͢͜ͅe̵̴̴̝͉̮̝̝͙͍͉̬͓͇̝̳̥̯̰͌̌̑̓͆ͩ̄̈ͥ̌͂̚͝͡ͅa̷̝̞̗͙̪̎̉̈̓͡͝r͍̰̲̩ͫ͗ͭ̈̒̏ͩ̑̈͢͜͜͟ͅ ͇͍͇̲̱͇͕̟̼̤̤̲͚͙̞͚͈̉̃̈̀́̚͘͟w̡̛̘͍̘̺̰̔́͊̇͡͞͡a̸̵͈̻͖̥͕͍͕̮̗̼͈͛̇̋ͧͦ̎̓̾̈́ͬ͊ͣͅs͙͕͎̮̺̭̞̪̖̰̭ͤ̈ͯ̑͑ͩ͠͞ ̛̣̥͎̮̲̘̘̮̳͔͖̦̳ͫ̈ͨ͆̀͟͟m̢͇̘̻͉̯̔͌̄ͬ̈ͣ̐͊̎ͦ̔ͭ͘e͐̈́͛̀̊̃͋̿ͬ́ͮͫͭ̀҉̶̧͕̲̪̗͍̪̙̫͉ ̡͎͈̣̘̘̩̼̝̘̰͕̺͚̰ͭ͂ͮͫ̍ͭ́̐ͥ̊̾̄̈̀̍͜͡ş̯͉̦͇̎́ͫ̈̾ͮ̄̓͟͝͞c̡̛̲̟̙̻̟̙̣̦̳̪͎̞̫̳̙͎̠͌͆ͥ͑̊́͋̚͘͢r̷̡̡̮̫̝̟ͫ́̓̈ͫ̄ͣ͆͛ͨ̑ę̱̯͓̳̻̱̱̙̱̱̠͉̘̟ͥ͒ͤ̈́̋ͮ̊̿̋̀̐̋ͣ̉̕͠͠ͅą̛̬̼̻̻̝͔͎̗͕͚̖̼̪͔ͩ̿̿̑̐m̧̡̩͈̥̭̱̯̗̬̯̟̥̩̖̤̙̫͉̼̎̎͐̇̐̾̄ͩ̒̒̏̆̂̾̑͗ͭ̏̀̚ͅi̷̝͚̖̦̻͖̼̫̻̩̥̙̦̞̫̯̥̹̳ͦ͑ͦ͌̊͑ͨ̆̾̌̄̇̔͘͠͝ņ̸̶̥̫̣̟͔̺̙̻̙̮͚͔͙̰̥̹̮̐̿̊̌͆̀̅͊̎ͩ́ͩ̀̑͛ͪ̚̚͢͞g̱͕̖̫͈̬̞̤̼̟͓̙ͦ̾ͫͯ͑ͮͩ̇ͤ̇̔̏̕͡ ̛͎̗̩͈̜̱͚̤̘̅͛ͭ̓ͩ̉͜͢͞i̸̴̧̡̖̥͓͍͇̮̺̔ͤ̅́ͯ͜ͅn̿͆̾̈́ͨ̒̆̾͑́̈́͋̈́̄́͏̤̘̲̲̬͓̬̫̖̀͢͞ ̶̶͋ͣ̄ͮ̾̌̓ͫ̓̀͗҉̮̟̮͕̩p̶̡̢̘͕̗̬̺̘̦̹̫̭̬̺͉͙̘ͯͦ̍ͨ͐̊̃̍̓͛ͦ̆͒͝ȃ̸̡̖̻̪̙̜͕̪̘͉̻͓͖͈̱̃̄̄̒̓̊͒̍ͯͥ̚i̶̶̟͇͎͉͈̻͇͚̰̹͚̹ͮ̉́͌͆ͦͪͨ́̽͒́́ņ̨̭͓͈̻̫ͧ̉̐ͣ͂͂̌̉͆̿̋͂ͭ̒̎̾ͪ́͞.̧̨̻̤͓͖̤̣̺̫͒́́̏̒́̈́̿̓ͤ̿̇͢͠ͅ
H̴̷̸̿ͮͣ̔̊̆̂̈́ͫ̒҉̵̼̺͔̣͎̺͓͕̖̹e̷̷̤̲̺̜̪̜̬͉̙̺̯̔̈́̂ͯ̏̊̐̀ͦ̊͛͂͐̋͊̃͗́́͘ͅĽ̵̶͎͖̺͚̞͍͖̙̞̔ͥ̃ͤ̋͗̃̒̇̌ͫ͛̇͗̀̿ḽ̷͉̖̬̼͎͎̫̰͓͕̩̽ͤͬͮ̊̓͆̓̎̓̀̀̌͑̈̈́́̕͝l̅̊̃ͦͤ͒҉̶̱̣̱̬̰̜̗̯̻̠̮̱̘͍ͅL͓͇̣̟͚͎̗͍̮̟̞͖̳͍̙̩̈́̆̎̉̏̂̋ͤͨ̌͐͒ͫ̋̑ͧ͟͢p͖̱̬̖̣̜̱̠͈̥͚̺̽ͧ́ͣͫ̽̊̊͛ͩ̉͑͑ͨͩ͢͠ͅpͨ͒̅̒̾͑̐ͦ̉ͧͤͫ̎͏͔͔͕͓̜͚̟̱̱̳!
Hey hey. Whaddya know? You made it. Take a quick b͍̝̮͖̟r͚̼͎͓͕̜̙̬̺͇̮̤e̜͔̖̖͚͎ͅa̼̩͇͖̥̖̼͕̖̙͔t̝̪̠͙͇h̼̺̜̮̺͍̹̬͉̦̹̗͕ͅe͖͇̫̲̦̪̱̱͕̦̟̖̱͈̦͎̝̳̖r͚͔̺͉̤̬̟̤̖̯̜, and maybe have a good nice nap. But before you do that - look behind you. Congrats. You can turn off the music. You're done. Happy? Now, your page may be glitched out a bit, but that's normal. Clear your mind and go have some cat therapy, eh? If you liked it, dont be scared to leave a comment, suggestions on the next story, and if I should make this a roleplay. Thanks for reading - and hey,
Have a good sleep tonight. |
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Vauxility
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| Joined: 01 Apr 2012 |
| Total Posts: 2601 |
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| 15 Aug 2013 02:58 PM |
| Tbh I don't even get it. The floaty gibberish actually takes away from the scariness. |
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Raidorz
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| Joined: 28 Apr 2011 |
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merox33
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1683 |
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| 15 Aug 2013 03:11 PM |
| This. Was the worst creepypasta ever. |
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| 15 Aug 2013 03:35 PM |
| I love how everybody's giving me a hard time, but not giving me a reason. I could just assume that you're jelly of how good I write. So I'll assume that. Oh and BTW, see if you can do better. |
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| 15 Aug 2013 03:44 PM |
> I could just assume that you're jelly of how good I write
Heheheh... That's a good joke. |
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| 15 Aug 2013 03:59 PM |
Writings poor, so is the grammar, using the stupid Zalgo translator is stupid.
Also it's generic
Like.
REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY stupid. |
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| 15 Aug 2013 04:14 PM |
| Again, the grammar is fine, the Zalgo writing is awesome, and it's generic - why? I can tell a lot of trolls like to try to make people butthurt on the forums, eh? |
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| 15 Aug 2013 04:21 PM |
| I'M IN DENIAL BECAUSE I KNOW MY STORY SUCKS |
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| 15 Aug 2013 04:54 PM |
Quite short. Also, try not to have to much gibberish across the screen.
X |
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| 16 Aug 2013 10:17 AM |
| The gibberish is supposed to be there. And yeah, it's quite short. Maybe I'll make a longer story. |
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| 16 Aug 2013 10:18 AM |
| Dont write anymore, please. |
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| 16 Aug 2013 10:35 AM |
| I have the right to do what I want. So I will not do what you say. I get to do what I want to do, and you have no reason to stop me. |
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| 16 Aug 2013 10:36 AM |
| Due to some really mean comments, no one else can comment here. |
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merox33
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
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| 16 Aug 2013 10:41 AM |
Knowing that you made this up, it isn't scary. So don't write creepypastas.
:] |
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| 16 Aug 2013 10:44 AM |
| http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=109257301 |
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merox33
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1683 |
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| 16 Aug 2013 10:50 AM |
| I wrote a creepypasta fanfic, do any of you guys mind reading it? http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=109957536 |
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JoshWesty
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| Joined: 09 Jun 2011 |
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| 16 Aug 2013 11:10 AM |
| ZOMG DIS ZO SAWY I HADZ 999999999999999999999999999999999 HEARWT ATTACKZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!! |
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| 16 Aug 2013 02:04 PM |
This story was okay, not particularly scary, and the gibberish across the screen took away from the scariness, but it was pretty decent.
A touch of scary sauce would make this pasta a lot better. Also, try to use more paragraphs, get rid of the gibberish across the screen, and make every bit of the story a bit more clear and understandable.
Try to make things seem less sudden and out of the blue, like when the lights flickered and the water suddenly turned red out of nowhere, you could have separated all the events to add scariness. If everything happens at once, it isn't scary at all.
Please don't lash out at me and say, "w3ll u cnt du 4ny bttr umg gu 4w4yy, I 4m t3h b35t", consider what I'm telling you. If you take people's advice, it can improve your writing ability. I understand that everyone starts somewhere, and that's why I'm giving you advice. I don't write too many stories, but I do know a lot about story writing because I have experience in reading and sometimes writing stories, especially creepypasta. Keep in mind, practice makes perfect! :) |
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| 16 Aug 2013 03:33 PM |
THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. You actually commented correctly. You told me reasons. I'll take your advice. I understand what you're saying. |
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merox33
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1683 |
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| 16 Aug 2013 04:14 PM |
Overall it seems like a good story, but I'm having trouble understanding it with all the writing in the way. You're a great writer! Keep it up! But if you're going to post it to creepypasta wiki or anything, you may want to remove the writing and the 'This is going to be scary' part at the beginning. |
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| 16 Aug 2013 04:58 PM |
| Did ANYONE play the music while reading? |
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