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Re: Skirmish Journal: White Tiled Blood (Story ft. VAK/VAC)

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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 03:44 AM
Before you check up on the story, please take note of this, C&G.
A mini thing.

I wrote a story with some fictional colony world being attacked by Vaktovians, somewhat inspired by Killing Floor's map 'Hospital Horrors'...

So, you might be skeptical of giant walls of text that sum up a short story. I can't really provide a shorter version than this, for this is pretty much a first draft, SO EXPECT ERRORS.

Anyways, you can skip the story to the FAQ so you know why I have Vaktovians in this, why a story is in C&G, and why you probably don't care.

_______________________________________________________
The blood put pressure onto the gel as the wound remained closed and the hand slathered this gel over it. Richard Carton was sitting in a blue chair in the blood-filled hallway as many walked by, some missing limbs while others did their best to help the wounded, or were busy carrying said wounded on a stretcher. The white wall and floor were dirty, full of random and near-useless items, garbage, or other leftover material that no one bothered cleaning up as they were trying to keep anyone and everyone alive as of right now. The dim lights and how everyone was sitting down, their backs against the wall made it a uncomfortable and rather depressing atmosphere as some would cough and merely fall over with no pulse left in them. The corpses would be lifted up by soldiers like Richard, and carried off to be burnt or tossed out before continuing on with the next, all these soldiers wearing full.body equipment, their skin and faces not seen, their eyes hiding behind black visors.

Vaktovia, more importantly the Vaktovians were the reason why they were all stuck here, in the burning city on some distant world of business and economics. There was a brew of trouble in the trading agreements, food being given to the Vaktovians and the Vaktovians in return would avoid the planet as if it was invisible, or had disappeared. Through time, though, this was slowly broken as ship crews began to found dead and their vessels in intact and perfect condition, just without all the cargo intended for the Vaktovian ships. Eventually, once Vaktovia got a full scan of the city-world, they launched an assault onto it, putting the planet in a siege and soon life was turned upside down as streets were filled with limbs of neighbors and buildings toppled over, the soldiers of both VAC and VAK walking through the smoke and rubble as if nothing was happening.

Richard was one of the lucky few to not be apart of the initial defense force against the first wave of enemy troops. He was still all in one piece, and after multiple skirmishes within one short day, him and the remains of his once happy, safe and friendly squad came up to the hospital, all of them horrified and mentally disrupted from the chaos that was outside of the massive medical building. The hospital was skyscraper like, providing a good enough room for a lot of troops, the only problem was not enough supplies were to go around and help every individual.

“Corporal Carton?” The muffled and rather deep voice spoke, questioning Richard, whom was still sitting and thinking about the recent events.

“Yes?” His plain, bleak and mere one-worded question emitted from his lips.

“You’re suppose to be on the third level, in the mess hall. Lieutenant Rolian is preparing a defense and all combat-ready personnel are suppose to meet him there.” The voice made the statement, as the black visor looked down at Richard, whom slowly got up from his seat, before sliding down the sleeve of his black sweatshirt and nodding, moving toward the elevator in silence as his thoughts droned on with the groaning of the injured and the smell of corpses and organs filling the hall.

Lieutenant Rolian was apart of the 4th Licius Marines, how he wasn’t dead or still in orbit was a question worth asking, due to how all marines were originally in a ship or on a space station...But, this was war, anything could happen in such a case. Richard slipped into the blood-coated blue-walled elevator as the doors began to close, the surgeons having conveniently pressed the button leading to the third level. The silence broke as the elevator shuttered, it’s shake barely making one stumble as it began its descent down into the dark elevator shaft.

Besides slight mumbling between the two surgeons and a piece of metal scraping onto the elevator shaft wall, it was all silent until the door opened. Richard, taking the sling on his right shoulder slipped it off and swung his rifle into his hand, the black-painted material barely shining in the bright light of the third floor. He walked down the hall as what looked like four more soldiers opened a door leading elsewhere and walked down the hall in the same direction Richard was going.

The third level having no wounded and very little blood made the atmosphere all the more easier to breathe in, the only sound was that of boots marching and discussions going on with all sorts of voices being echoed down the halls. Following the rather simple signs painted on the walls with the words “Headquarters” and a arrow pointing in a specific direction forward, Richard reached two clean white doors with no windows, though they were quite open to see into the room. The room, meanwhile, had all sorts of makeshift equipment on metal tables with operators in basic out-of-combat uniforms talking all at once, attempting to inform teams out in the field, while another pair of doors was to the far left.

Passing through the rather busy communications room, Richard went through the two doors and into a rather small, yet simple room with all sorts of chairs in rows and a stand facing to them in front, the Lieutenant standing on that stand while the majority of the soldiers in the hospital were sitting down or standing up leaning on the wall or having folded arms, all listening to what the Lieutenant had to say. It felt like a school room, as little chatter emitted and the Lieutenant constantly pointed to defensive positions on the board, the drawings not exactly professional, but no one cared anymore. All everyone wanted was a quick way out, off of this planet.

***
“We’re out of coffee, aren’t we?” Richard asked his friend, James Oloc, both in the same squad and both standing behind sandbags which were in a hole in the hospitals second-level wall, the machine gun sitting there silently as boxes of ammunition fed shells to it, but nothing fired as of yet. It was a hour since they were put to their posts, and the defenses were set up, little time spent socializing and more spent watching the dark, nighttime roads that were outside the hospital.

“Yeah, seeing how I’m not having a mug full of it right now, they’ve must’ve spent all of it on the patrol downstairs.” James responded, looking over to Richard as three soldiers passed by, one carrying a ammunitions box, another wielding a shotgun and the last being a basic rifleman, not saying or doing much besides following them.

“Well, now I wish we’d stayed in the subways, rather than following everyone else to the hospital. Think any good is coming from the city?” The echoing of gunfire in the distance could be heard from the hospital ever since the invasion started. Vaktovia not givin a second of rest, anyone with a rifle fired into the fray of red and black, ever since that, no gun has rested since.

“I don’t know...I mean, I’m sure we got survivors packed in enclaves just like us, but look at what we’re doing: Standing around, waiting to be shot at and then return fire. I doubt anyone is doing anything better.” James’s head and eyes looked back out onto the road some distance away from them, a ambulance drove by at a high speed as the lights briefly lit up the windows, the figures of manikins were seen in the store across the street, the figures of people barely making any suspicion amongst the two. The ambulance eventually falling silent as it disappeared down the street with its headlights on.

Richard could feel a awkward sense of threatening depression, suddenly, as the radio began to buzz with inaudible chatter and the sound of equipment hitting bodies and boots hitting the tiles of the floor echoed around him, before he knew it, everything was coming to life and his comrade was on the machine gun, raising it up toward the windows where the manikins were and the muzzle flashed with a bright light as red tracers pounded through the glass, a puff of red mist appearing as the manikin fell over-

Of course, Richard noticed these weren’t manikins.

The butt of his rifle was placed on his right shoulder, his left side now pressed against the wall as white tracers flew into the room, Vaktovian bullets bounced off the walls and eventually landed onto the tiles, as troops ran back and forth, the sound of cracking lighting echoed around like the boots and equipment, clearly guns were firing in all directions now. Almost hard to think or hear anything else other than bullets flying and guns firing.

***
“FOR VAKTOVIA! Purge the primitives and show them the strength of real military might!” The officer yelled, as the VAC soldiers- in their degrading flesh-like forms -charged through the rubble, the hospital in front of them with bullets and rockets flying out of it. Pools of blood filled the floor as limbs flew off due to the speed of the massive rounds flying from the muzzle of the heavy machine gun, making it a priority for the sea of flesh that was the VAC troops.

The shell flew from the side of the rifle, near the helmet of the Vaktovian as he looked through the red scope, holographic blue lines lining up his shot with all sorts of mathematical problems being solved in mere seconds. The sound of the machine gun seemed to disappear as he felt the metal trigger on his rifle, his comrade looking through the binoculars as they laid on the roof of the building.

“Fire...”

The finger slowly began to tap the trigger, his right hand gripping tightly onto the handle with his eyes bloodshot and thirsty for the blood of his enemy’s.

“Fire...”

He began to pull on the trigger slowly, the metal glove rubbing it’s plates together and the explosion that went off in the crowd of VAC troops barely knocking off the aim of the sniper, locking up with a headshot, aiming for the gunner.

“Fire.”

With that, the loudest crack in the air echoed through, the massive silver bullet with red lining at the end of the cone and the beginning of the tip spinned through the air, it’s tracer was that of red as it flew through the air in that one second. The flesh was torn from the forehead, as blood gushed out of the hole the bullet began to dig through, eventually forming a entire hole right through the head of the gunner, the corpse falling over in seconds as the VAC troops began to push through the entrance of the hospital.

“Alright, target is down, changing position.” His comrade reported in the radio, before they lifted their equipment and began to move off of the rooftop to the next, assassinating a few along the way in perfection.

***
Blood splattered onto the wall some distance away from James, as a gunner was taken down, his corpse falling over dead and the yells of VAC troops swarmed the air, gunfire dying down as the doors were torn open beneath the second level, the people in that floor were all considered M.I.A now, as James and Richard began to move for the staircase. The area around them degrading as troops were in chaos, either rolling on the floor with missing patches of armor and flesh, or running around, attempting to get hold of what was going on and forming an offensive against their attackers.

Richard took grip onto the handles of the doors to the staircase, slamming them shut before running up the flight of stairs with James, gunfire echoing below them with screams of death and what was like hawks feasting upon their prey.

It was hard to believe this situation was going to get any worse, it was even harder to believe it was going to get better.

_____________________________________________________

Skipped down to read this?
Or did you read the story?

Either way, here is a FAQ to sum up why I suddenly appear in C&G to give you guys this.

---------FAQ------------

1A. Why is this in C&G?

Seeing how clan/guild/wargroup related stuff isn't accepted much elsewhere, I decided to be on topic when posting this story.

Due to how it includes Vaktovians, I assumed it'd belong here.
Oh, and a lot of stories of Wargroup related business has gone up here, so don't act as if this is a first.
It isn't.

2. Why VAK?

I think VAK is a very good military opponent to see on a page. Especially due to the fact most of the lore/story written by Vaktus/his friends/members include good sources for a antagonist in a military themed scenario.

3. This has a lot of errors...

This is a demo of what I would like to give C&G, think of it as me just giving you a preview of what I like to write about...And, well, maybe I could write more depending on opinions?
I know a lot of stories include some rather weirdly-written action sequences with little sense and the author glorifying his Robloxian. So, I want to show something other than that.

4. In the future, do you plan to include other groups?

Yes, a group versus group scenario might not happen anytime soon, but I'm surely open to giving other groups a chance to be a antagonist/protagonist.

5. WHERE ARE THE EXPLUSIONZ IN THE BEGINNING? WHY NO PEW PEW?

To sum this up: I like to write with a calm or non-combat scenario first, then skip over into combat scenes later. So, in the beginning, not a lot of action will go on...

6. Why not use a real Robloxian group as the protagonist in this story?

Well...
A. I'll be lighting a flame, if anyone read this apart of those two groups.
B. I don't want to go into too much digging into other groups as of right now, seeing who would be good in this situation...Just, a no-go.

7. Despite saying this features VAK/VAC, the tactics or technology- maybe even everything written about Vaktovia -is all wrong, and in this case, I feel offended you view this group that way.

Not exactly a question, but worth talking about.

I do know I made VAC/VAK seem very run-of-the-mill, despite the fact they're based of the Reapers from Mass Effect, meaning that being attacked by them would be torture, I get that.

But sadly I can't say much other than that no information exists really about their 'personality' in combat.
So, I improvised, and you're to judge if it was good or not.

8. Will you do more if this gains a positive opinion from C&G?

Yes, aye, affirmative, confirmed...You get the point.

___________________________________________

That is all I can think of right now...FAQ done.

Anyways, end of the thread, post now or go home...Or go back up, whatever you want really.
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RaidSkills is not online. RaidSkills
Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 20152
11 Aug 2013 03:45 AM
[ Content Deleted ]
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 03:52 AM
*FLAILS ARMS AROUND*

OH GOD, I FAILED, MUST MAKE IT TO EMERGENCY CART! IT IS THE END OF MY CAREER-

But all jokes aside, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the actual outcome of it.
But I'll wait, *flop* and wait...
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Ishinoshiro2 is not online. Ishinoshiro2
Joined: 02 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 2825
11 Aug 2013 03:54 AM
It's really good. A lot of people on C&G will probably just make random remarks, but you probably know that already.
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SophicationWizard is not online. SophicationWizard
Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 8501
11 Aug 2013 03:54 AM
Actually, very good
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 03:55 AM
I appreciate your message! :3
And yush, I do know so, just like being silly when random remarks come up every now and then.

I feel as if this story was very actiony...Had another one with a convoy being ambushed in a forest, very much like in Resistance 2.

Ah well, hope this was enjoyable. And is, enjoyable.
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 04:00 AM
Oh hey!
Thanks Wizard!

Didn't see your comment there- And I'm posting twice >w< Oh god, someone sue me.

But, thank you very much! :D Kind words make all the better in my world.
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SophicationWizard is not online. SophicationWizard
Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 8501
11 Aug 2013 04:04 AM
Considering it's so good


Free bump c:
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popsta1773 is not online. popsta1773
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 332
11 Aug 2013 04:05 AM
tl;dr

#kony2017
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SophicationWizard is not online. SophicationWizard
Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 8501
11 Aug 2013 04:07 AM
@Pop

Demoted in fire department
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 04:08 AM
TL:DR?
...NOTHING CAN STOP IT NOW! :O NOW EVERYONE WILL KNOW THE SHORTER VERSION!
MY WRITING CAN NOT BE IN VAIN! *Pumps shotgun*

x3 But, thank you for the free bump, Wizard.
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popsta1773 is not online. popsta1773
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 332
11 Aug 2013 04:09 AM
Gets demoted in FD.
Is now Fire fighter.

#kony2017
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InvictusRex is not online. InvictusRex
Joined: 09 Oct 2012
Total Posts: 4295
11 Aug 2013 04:11 AM
I actually like it.
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 04:12 AM
That is awesome to hear, Rex!
....And really, I wish I had your name.

But, yeh, thank you! I'm happy to hear that three people enjoyed it thus far :3
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SophicationWizard is not online. SophicationWizard
Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 8501
11 Aug 2013 04:17 AM
Free bump
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 04:36 AM
Alright, maybe this is spam at this point. But...
One last bump.
*Pokes*
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bloxed is not online. bloxed
Joined: 03 May 2008
Total Posts: 3599
11 Aug 2013 04:37 AM
uh

i scanned most of it

then went

tl;dr

praise bootism
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popsta1773 is not online. popsta1773
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 332
11 Aug 2013 04:38 AM
Spamming? LMAO
Look at dis forum.

http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=109120255

#kony2017
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 04:38 AM
;n;
The tl;dr....Will it claim thy writing?

Oh, and yes, bootism.
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 04:41 AM
So...Not spam? Well, then I guess I'm happy as can-be.

But maybe a response can be considered an excuse-bump...Or something.
But that thread just...O_o That thread...I don't think I had the mental powers to stand it.
IT WAS TOO CRAZY ;n;
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popsta1773 is not online. popsta1773
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 332
11 Aug 2013 04:42 AM
Hate on dat DWE.
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gtboy7 is not online. gtboy7
Joined: 29 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 1966
11 Aug 2013 05:02 AM
Nice work.
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
11 Aug 2013 08:21 AM
Thank you gtboy! :3

I believe I will continue to write wargroup-based stories and post them here due to how positive these responses are.
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DawnOfWarfan22 is not online. DawnOfWarfan22
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 2056
12 Aug 2013 12:46 PM
Liked this one?
http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=109457130

Made a new one.
Shorter than this one though :/
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SophicationWizard is not online. SophicationWizard
Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 8501
12 Aug 2013 02:17 PM
Free bump
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