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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 12:53 AM
Unless you plan on making a fifteeb paragraph chapter thoroughly describing the setting, your family, and the general plot issue, dont post here. Use microsoft word and vary your sentences with "colorful" words as my teachers call them. Indent. This is more of an ending of a chapter rather than a chapter.

Sources: I read books
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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 01:46 AM
I do use Microsoft. Technically, this is a Prologue not a Chapter. Her family isn`t really important, except for maybe her brother. Note that, my word choice is not perfect, this is not a final draft. I do indent on Microsoft. Finally, if you don`t like my writing you don`t have to read it.

P.S. I read more books in a year than most people will read in a lifetime.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 01:56 AM
I'm reading it because thats what critics do. And stop doing don ' t instead of don't.. And prolouges are far longer than this. They explain more. Everything in the chapter is vauge. All I know is that a boy almost fell into a habitat but a brave women steps in the way to save him. Seems a bit overated.

Also, don't use the "If you don't like it, don't read it" response. It's bad and overated.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 02:02 AM
Also, if you have read that many books, assuming you mean a few hundred, then tou are either god or have amnesia. Your vocabulary should be rich with words by now and it would surpass even Fat's vocabulary.









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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 02:05 AM
I`m sorry that I`m not used to typing don't instead of don`t. If you've read Tuck Everlasting, you would know that my prologue is longer than a prologue in a classic book. You learn that the boy is her brother, so please don`t downgrade my writing.

I cannot believe that you are so shallow that you criticize how I word sentences/phrases when I`m having a conversation.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 02:25 AM
Critics are critics. There are good critics and bad critics. I'm a bad critic.

Tuck Everlasting is different from my definition of chapter books. I believe great chapter books have pages and pages of entertaining phrases. Descriptive and endless. And they come to my favor.

And I really don't like that phrase which is why I told you to not use it. Also, you are making me wait for a few paragraphs. You should have more chapters or longer chapters. There are several differences between the book and this one.
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fathat121 is not online. fathat121
Joined: 26 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 1926
02 Aug 2013 02:29 AM
Listen, harsh criticism is usually the best sort of criticism. One must endure the strain; which they face, and indulge themselves within the significance of the critic's words. Ninjafire has conducted a series of decisive points; in order to help you. You should accept his package; by staring past the tag, and instead opening up the present.
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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 02:34 AM
Well, I happened to love Tuck Everlasting.

You can't tell me how to speak, I am my own person. You have no way of knowing how long the first chapter will be, so what you`re doing is just like judging a book by it`s cover. You`re saying that, because my prologue was a little shorter than most, my chapters will be too. Lastly, an example of a book with extremely short chapters is Al Capone Does My Shirts.
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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 02:40 AM
I am taking in the criticizing and thinking it through, but I`m also answering with my opinions. I do not expect everyone to appreciate my candor, I`m just being telling the truth. (Yes, I know opinions can`t really be truths)
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 02:44 AM
Well. You forced me to judge it by the cover as you provided no further infomation.






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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 02:48 AM
I`m not one to spoil. Although, I can tell you the after-life is discussed and in the story there is no God.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 02:58 AM
Not like that. I'm saying that you asked for a critic to judge your cover but you didnt provide enough chapters for me to not judge it. By ask I mean, by putting it out here, a population filled with critics, you want our opinions risking they be good or bad.
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timpookie is not online. timpookie
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 21924
02 Aug 2013 03:01 AM
POST THE FIRST CHAPTER ALREADY!
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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 03:25 AM
I`m sorry I can`t yet. I wrote most of it in my notebook, so I have to finish typing it onto the computer, and then edit.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 10:11 AM
You should of edited while typing onto the computer. Or you could of typed it all straight in the computer.
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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 01:08 PM
Actually, editing while you`re still typing is not good. You just lose your train of thought and get lost in the grammar and spelling. I learned this from New York Times Best-selling Author, Veronica Roth. She posts a lot of writing advice on her blog.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 01:51 PM
Then it would make more sense to just type it in the first place..
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Heyheyhey195 is not online. Heyheyhey195
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 741
02 Aug 2013 06:47 PM
I don`t have a laptop, so I can`t type wherever I go. That`s why I rely on my notebooks when I`m out of the house. Sometimes ideas spring into my head at the most random intervals. Personally, when I get an idea I have to write it down right away. It`s also better to have my notebook while I`m babysitting.
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timpookie is not online. timpookie
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 21924
02 Aug 2013 10:15 PM
Don't waste time typing replies to critics unless its constructive criticism. Just type the story.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
02 Aug 2013 10:36 PM
My criticism couldn't be more constructive. Harsh, but constructive.
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timpookie is not online. timpookie
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 21924
02 Aug 2013 11:15 PM
Ninja, what about the thing about just typing it into a computer in the first place? Sure, it's common sense, but she might not have had a computer with her at all times.
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ninjafire7494 is not online. ninjafire7494
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 2915
03 Aug 2013 02:01 AM
My point is to edit whenever you get the chance. I find that on the comp. editing is alot easier. Typically what I write and what I type have significant differences.
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timpookie is not online. timpookie
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 21924
03 Aug 2013 02:38 AM
Same here.
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