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| 22 Jul 2013 02:58 AM |
FADE IN:
INT. MOTEL ROOM
JOHN holds up a cross in front of the VAMPIRE.
JOHN I hope you rot in Hell!
VAMPIRE Sure thing, kid.
JOHN holds the cross up higher and gets closer, as if he were pushing the VAMPIRE back.
JOHN Why isn't this working?
VAMPIRE There's thousands of religions. I can't be constrained to just one now, can I?
JOHN drops the cross and prepares to run out the door, but the vampire chases after and grabs the back of JOHN's jacket.
VAMPIRE I like you, kid. Wanna' see the other side?
The VAMPIRE bites JOHN before he can respond.
BEGIN TITLES: |
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| 22 Jul 2013 05:06 AM |
This sounds like vampire-zombie can't we have the old classic scene.
A guy is running in the woods.
He keeps looking back to see if something is chasing him.
He hears some noises in the trees.
He keeps running.
After a while he slows down hopping that he out-run the thing chasing him.
He walks forward while looking back.
And walks right into a vampire.
The vampire stares at his eyes in silence, then bites him.
A scream is heard from the woods.
Or something like that. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 05:15 AM |
^
Supernatural had a similar scene.
But, plot-twist, it was actually a hunter who did the killing.
Vampires can be good in that universe.
Ye. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 05:58 AM |
I used to write vampire stories similar to that, and everyone hated them.
I create a vampire that isn't constrained to the normality of the rules, but still similar to what we expect. And no one likes it.
k, I'm done. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:05 AM |
Lol keep writing them if you want.
But just don't make it to predictable and don't put too much dialog.
For example, if you make the character try to run away and the vampires catch him.
Victim: "Ahh help what the hell do you want with me!!!"
Vampire: "Your blood"
Or when someone bumps into a vampire.
Victim: Stumbles and falls back, "Ahh what the heck are you!"
Vampire: "Death..." |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:09 AM |
don't make it to predictable<
tells me to do the classic way<
k
and i like my dialogue more, nooffensekthx |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:11 AM |
"I hope you rot in Hell!"
"Sure thing, kid."
The cheese, man.
So much cheese. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:12 AM |
Classic and predictable can be different things!!!
But write how you like, their your stories anyway. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:14 AM |
What's the point in writing if the audience doesn't like the way they're written?
I'll just find another hobby. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:18 AM |
Writing should be a personal thing-- you should write what you like, man-- I liked this. I just found those lines cheesy is all.
Why are you so sad today? |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:19 AM |
As Ultra said.
What happened, you okay man? |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:29 AM |
I'm not sad.
A part of me is aggravated, another calm, and another I just want to show you people.
You're both asses.
I get no responses any time I write something, and the time I do, I get told my storyline is awful and that my dialogue sucks.
Yeah, I'm gonna' feel just peachy. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:31 AM |
I fail to see where we said that the storyline was awful or that the dialogue sucked, man.
But, whatever. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:33 AM |
You say nothing positive and the only thing you do say is "completely rechange your story to your average person being chased" thing and that "your dialogue is cheesy and you should have less of it or change it"
Yeah, okay. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:34 AM |
I simply said that it needed to be a little bit more classic.
Since all the good vampire stuff happened in the good old days.
And for it not to be predictable.
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:34 AM |
I said that those TWO lines were cheesy.
It was,
I don't see how I insulted the entirety of the story, and I did say something positive, I said I liked it, so take that, and shove it. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:38 AM |
Yeah, you said that after I complained like hell.
But what do I do, obviously I can't reinvent a popular monster to be something darker and more thought provoking.
And I clearly can't write dialogue without it sounding bad.
So, like I said, I'm done. I'm not upset, I'm not mad, I'm just not going to write anymore. Clear as daylight. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:39 AM |
Leslie,
I say this because I love you, man.
You're starting to act like Bella from Twilight.
You need to be stopped. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:40 AM |
Do you want me to buy you Ice cream?
If you don't want to write don't, I gave up writing a little while back, but I still make some short stories. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:45 AM |
You see, ultra, this is how you screw with people.
Ever insult Evil Dead again and I'm going to make you feel like Norman Bates.
No, I'm going to make you wish you were Norman Bates.
And swift, tell me to make something unpredictable but use a formula established over 150 years ago is just aggravating, so don't. k? k. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:47 AM |
http://i.imgur. com/uAr5MGb.png |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:48 AM |
| Cool down people still care about you. |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:50 AM |
Last time you acted like this you revealed it was all one big joke.
So, I'm going to take everything I read from you, with a grain of salt ... and put it on some French fries, ok? |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:53 AM |
Mmm french fries.
And come to think about it this does look a little set up.
I mean this isn't the worst story you've made but it just looks like you were waiting for someone to comment on it.
But idk... |
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| 22 Jul 2013 06:53 AM |
Yeah, you'll try.
You just wait. One day, I'll do it again. And again.
And worse each and every time. |
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