generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Off Topic
Home Search
 

Re: Need story critique

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
AIHygenist is not online. AIHygenist
Joined: 07 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 274
17 Jun 2013 01:15 PM
Here's a story of mine thus far:

Having no friends in this world to speak of, and no particular attachment to the village from whence I came, I decided to once and for all leave my home. Where some may have felt some small instance of sorrow or maybe hesitation, I felt nothing. I wonder, what compels people to roam such as I have? Why do we do it? That’s not a question for me, I feel. It’s better left to some wizened old sage, whose perspective is clearer than one such as me.
I almost didn’t bother bringing anything, but prudence tempered my eagerness to depart. I packed a knife, some victuals, a worn old hat – but you probably don’t care about that. I can sense you probably want me to get my story started. I’m happy to oblige.
I didn’t even try to stick to a path. I had no desire to visit any human habitation, or travel the Great Road. So I struck out, over the endless rice field.
Having put a good distance between myself and the village by nightfall, I resolved to sit down on one of the terraces and watch the sunset. The fields of water slowly became sparkling lakes of light. The sun splashed fading beams of light over the world, gradually effacing from this world the memories of daytime. After the sun had slunk languidly under the horizon, the air began to light up with the sounds of night animals. The hum of insects, the hoot of the water owl, the deep, throaty cries of the koi-frog – all had a place in the cacophony of the night.
It was while I was sitting on the edge of a terrace, appreciating the beauty of nature I was seized from behind.
Report Abuse
Imangineer is not online. Imangineer
Joined: 02 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 4611
17 Jun 2013 01:15 PM
you're hopeless
Report Abuse
AIHygenist is not online. AIHygenist
Joined: 07 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 274
17 Jun 2013 01:16 PM
Thanks. Care to elaborate?
Report Abuse
liliamgirl is not online. liliamgirl
Joined: 26 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 28822
17 Jun 2013 01:17 PM
thats actually really really good

i like the detail in the story


|Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends|
Report Abuse
AIHygenist is not online. AIHygenist
Joined: 07 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 274
17 Jun 2013 01:18 PM
@liliamgirl

Thank you :)
Report Abuse
AIHygenist is not online. AIHygenist
Joined: 07 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 274
17 Jun 2013 01:22 PM
bump
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Off Topic
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image