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| 13 Jun 2013 03:15 PM |
I can't find my old post of sneak peek of Chapter 1, but here's a extremely small one of the second..
"We will be sending you to spy on a planet to give you clues of your sister.." he said "What planet..?" "Well, the inhabitants of that planet call it.. 'Earth' "
COMING SOON |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:16 PM |
...
I see problems already. |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:17 PM |
| Its a damn sneak peek, woman, |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:18 PM |
RACISM AGAINST WOMEN! REPORTED!
King Vagari [Sandinista Empire] Sandinista Empire is back! Stronger and Better! Join Today! |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:18 PM |
| Ahmahgahd, the Vaktovians are going to kill us to get their super robot clone siblings! |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:19 PM |
| dont worry it doesn't take place in the 2000s |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:19 PM |
| When I see problems in a preview of that size, it's a bad omen. That's my point. |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:20 PM |
| so many plot holes just in that preview |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:21 PM |
| havent even written it yet |
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Smooks12
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| Joined: 20 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 6658 |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:21 PM |
| Well, there's already a movie about this, except instead of finding his sister, Will Smith and his son find something else. After Earth I think it's called? |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:22 PM |
| smooks its way before than 2000s |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:23 PM |
| Introduce a rather helpless yet good hearted and friendly ex-VAC level 3 somewhere along the line. His name is Zoran Vosque...or something like that. |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:23 PM |
"We will be sending you to spy on a planet to give you clues of your sister.." he said "What planet..?" "Well, the inhabitants of that planet call it.. 'Earth' "
vaktovians dont even speek english wow |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:24 PM |
| the story will explain why everyone uses english universally |
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Inysa
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4477 |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:26 PM |
Mine will do it better... When I decide to start it back up. Been what, a month since I last added to it.
Considering it's like 40 parts at this point I'd like to finish it, so as to not waste my time.
Besides, again, based on that preview your story will be a nightmare to read. That, and just on past experience of C&G stories, I have little faith in a plotline. |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:28 PM |
i see issues already,
how do you propose vak makes a spacecraft capable of reaching earth from vaktovia? |
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koen523
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| Joined: 23 Feb 2011 |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:32 PM |
| VAK is going to conquer earth? .-. lol |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:52 PM |
| Does it say that anywhere? |
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HMAX12
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| Joined: 25 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 32693 |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:54 PM |
Better keep it as it is, Its only going to get worse.
-HMAX12 2IC of Chaos Clan |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:55 PM |
| Says the one that has not read chapter 1 and as 94 posts and is agreeing with a TGI who has not even read it. |
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HMAX12
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| Joined: 25 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 32693 |
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| 13 Jun 2013 03:57 PM |
| Make it into a 4800 word story then il side with you. Heheheh you do know just because i have 95 posts doesn't mean I'm incapable or constructing a long story. |
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sparrowst
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| Joined: 29 Dec 2012 |
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koen523
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| Joined: 23 Feb 2011 |
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